


Small Kindnesses

by SmilingAlwaysSmiling



Category: game of thrones
Genre: College!AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 38,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmilingAlwaysSmiling/pseuds/SmilingAlwaysSmiling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College!AU, Theon/Robb, wherein they have known each other forever, and Theon waited two years for Robb to graduate and now they go to the same college. Robb is an RA and Theon is self-destructive and insecure in waves, but he's a good friend. Jon is forever showing up to sigh at the things they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Robb. Need a ride,” Theon slurs over the phone.

Robb sits up and immediately starts to pull on his shoes. This is hardly the first time his friend has called him in the early hours of the morning, drunk off his ass and needing a ride home. It’s not even the first time this week. Jon thinks it’s disgusting. He says that Theon’s irresponsible and selfish. He’s right, if Robb is honest, but Robb’s just happy that Theon thinks to call rather than drive himself home.

Robb had said as much to him once before, when he and Jon stopped on their own way home to pick Theon up from a party downtown. The other boy just smiled at him and said that he’d make for an awfully depressing obituary. Jon rolled his eyes and Theon smiled wider. Later, after puking in the bushes outside of the dorm, Jon stalked off and Theon turned to look Robb in the eyes.

“When I die. Robb. When I die, you have to promise you’ll write the obituary. No one else would write one.”

“You’re not going to die, Theon. I’ve seen you much drunker than this.”

“But when I do,” Theon grabs his wrist, closes his fingers around it so tightly that Robb briefly worries about bruising.

“I would. If you died. You’re not going to die for a very long time, “Robb assures him. Theon smiles at him, but it’s not a relieved smile. It looks like he thinks Robb’s said something stupid.

It’s been weeks since that night, but that sad, knowing smile is what he sees in his head when Theon mutters into the phone again.

“Have to go to the hospital.”

Robb juggles the phone and it clatters to the floor. When he picks up the phone again, he can hear Theon laughing.

“Did you just drop your phone? You literally just got the screen replaced,” Theon mumbles, amused, “And you complained the whole time about how you only took it out of the Otterbox becau-“

“Why do we have to go to the hospital?” Robb interrupts.

“Cut my hand really bad on a bottle. The neck broke off. So much for fucking twist tops. It’s fine, just needs stitches. I haven’t even had that much to drink. Could drive myself, if you want. You’re an RA, technically you aren’t supposed to drive anyone to the hospital.”

“Shut up. Where are you?”

“In my room. Just didn’t feel like walking over and knocking.”

Robb laughs and grabs his keys before hanging up. He doesn’t think about it at the time, but later he’ll suddenly wonder why Theon was drinking alone in his dorm room.

About half an hour later, they’re sitting in the emergency waiting room. Theon has his shirt off and wrapped around his bleeding hand. He’s staring at the infomercial playing on the television with disdain, looking more than a little ridiculous with his legs stretched out, shirtless, and with his hands above his head (to help slow the bleeding, as suggested by one of the nurses).

“Can we talk about something other than the fucking Redi-cook?” he grumbles and Robb shrugs back at him. Theon’s a bit pale from the blood loss

“Can’t think of anything. I was trying to rearrange my classes when you called.”

They spend another half an hour in the waiting room, with Robb explaining that he needs to switch out his statistics class for calculus. The calculus class only runs during his physics lab, and switching his physics lab would conflict with his ethics class. Halfway through his explanation, Theon stops him to say that he still doesn’t understand stressing over it, so he has to explain that if he can’t rearrange things perfectly he won’t be able to complete his minor. The other boy laughs and calls him an overachiever before he’s finally called into a room for treatment.

He rates his pain as two, on a scale of one to ten, and the nurse seems impressed. Theon winks at her and she blushes before scuttling out of the room.

“Somehow that always gets them. Weird how pain tolerance is an attractive trait to nurses. Doubt they’d think it was impressive if they knew how often I do stupid shit and get myself hurt.”

“Like jumping off the roof last year?” Robb questions, gesturing to a scar on Theon’s right shoulder.

“It wasn’t a roof. It was an awning. I wouldn’t jump off a roof.”

“Or when we decided to get into mountain biking and you took a tumble directly into a tree,” Robb laughs and points to his left knee, which is currently covered, but nonetheless very scarred.

“Like you didn’t fall off? Hell, you fell off more than I did. You fell off into the fucking pond, once. And all the ducks flew out. Jeyne Westerling laughed and you looked so damn pathetic that I rode in, too.”

It’s moments like this that Robb remembers why he puts up with preventing Theon’s consistent self-destruction.

“I had no idea you did that on purpose.”

Theon shrugs up at him from the hospital bed and turns his back to Robb when the nurse returns. She leaves again, this time instructing Theon to keep his hand soaking in the rubbing alcohol she’s set up. When he lifts his arm to do so, Robb spots another scar along his ribs and nods his head towards it.

“What’s that one from?”

Theon follows his line of sight and briefly goes tense before smiling again.

“From when I was seven,” he laughs. He doesn’t elaborate, and Robb knows enough about Theon’s family that he doesn’t have to.

Another three hours later, they’ve made it back to the dorm. Robb is exhausted and nods a goodbye to Theon before heading to his room. It’s five in the morning and he has to be up in three hours. He gives his schedule a glance before sighing and climbing into bed. He’s still stressed about puzzling out his classes and it takes him an hour to fall asleep.

Two hours later, Robb is stumbling around his room, cold and nauseous from the lack of sleep. He’s thankful that his curls hide the fact that he definitely hasn’t brushed his hair and on the way to class one of the girls working the coffee stand actually compliments his stubble.

He takes his seat next to Jon, who huffs a quiet insult about Theon using Robb. Robb spends a portion of the lecture reflecting on whether or not small kindnesses are enough to make up for the hours he’s spent holding Theon together.

When he makes it back to his dorm, there’s a sheet of paper taped to his door. Theon has always had surprisingly neat handwriting.

_If you switch your ethics class to Wednesday and your speaking class to tuesday, you can switch your lab and then Calculus will fit. And you’ll graduate on time and with a stupid fucking minor._

He collapses into bed for a few more hours of sleep, smiling.


	2. I've said a lot of things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although this chapter is pretty much a follow up to the first one, this isn't going to be a logically chaptered fic. They're still meant to be one-or-two chapters.

By the time he hears a knock on his door, Theon’s vomited four times. He’s lying on his side, the way you’re taught to when you’ve drank too much. Choking on puke isn’t exactly the way he wants to die. He shivers and ignores whoever’s at the door, figuring he couldn’t make it across the room to answer it even if he tried. The knocking grows more insistent, and he must have left it unlocked, because soon it swings open to reveal Jon. The other boy’s face changes from pissed off to fearful within the span of three seconds and he immediately leaves the room.

Good, Theon thinks to himself, That’ll teach him to mind his own fucking business.

It doesn’t.

When Robb comes through his door, Theon feels far worse. Jon being worried and disgusted is something he finds amusing. The same expression doesn’t feel at all the same on his friend’s face. He doesn’t want to make a fool of himself by trying to stand, so he settles for averting his eyes. He can hear Robb take a deep breath and in his mind Theon can see the calm, collected man his friend becomes whenever he has to fix Theon’s mistakes.

He doesn’t bother protesting when Robb manhandles him into sitting with his back against the wall. Instead, he closes his eyes and listens to the sounds of Robb changing the vomit-soiled bed sheets. Jon briefly returns with a water bottle before shooting Robb a look and leaving again.

Theon chances a look at Robb, who is using the messy sheets to clean up the floor. Neither of them has said anything yet. The silence is nearly painful.

“My father. He told me not to come home anymore,” he finally says. Anything to break the silence. Anything to explain himself to Robb. The redhead nods once, knowing better than to say what he’s probably thinking. As much as Theon loathes his family, he can’t stand anyone else insulting them. Not even Robb.

“You said you wouldn’t drink like this anymore.”

“Yeah, I’ve said a lot of things. Told Kyra I would never cheat on her. Told my father I would make him proud. If there’s one thing I excel in, it’s being a disappointment.”

“You aren’t. And you know that. You’ve got a GPA as good as mine, even if you like for people to think you’re an idiot. You could illustrate for a living if you weren’t so worried about what people would say about it. And you’ve never lied to me.”

“Until that time I told you I’d stop drinking like this, you mean.”

“You’ll stop. You said you would. So I know you will,” Robb says. He sounds so certain that it makes Theon feel even worse about himself. Then he spends some time internally begging the universe to let him wake up tomorrow with no memory of this.

Soon enough, he’s been wrestled back into his bed, lying on his side again. Robb turns off the light before returning and sitting next to his head. It’s not about companionship so much as it’s about making sure he doesn’t aspirate and die in his sleep, Theon’s sure.

“You can stay with us. Over breaks. You usually do. I know that’s not the point, but…”

Theon nods slightly, and reflects on how awful and undeserving he is in the moments before he passes out. He’s never felt quite like this before. Most of his life he’s lived with the back and forth between narcissistic and self-loathing, but he’s never felt hate like this. Much less, hate directed at himself.

Nothing prepares him for what he feels when he wakes up. It’s still dark and he blinks until he sees the faint outlines of his room. He’s dimly aware of Robb, who is still sitting up, shaking slightly. There’s a horrible moment of clarity when he realizes that Robb is crying. It isn’t the first time Theon’s seen Robb cry. They’ve known each other for far too long and have been far too close of friends to have never witnessed it. But he’s never known Robb to cry because of something he’s done.

Theon gropes until his hand makes contact with Robb. He slides that hand to meet Robb’s.

“I’ll stop. I promise. I’ll stop fucking up. I’ll stop being a mess. You won’t have to clean up after me anymore. Hey, Jon won’t even have anything to complain about. Two birds, yeah?”

“It’s not about cleaning up after you. It’s about you.”

Somehow, that sentence means more to him than any reassurances he’s ever gotten from Robb. Years of ‘my friend’ and ‘my best friend’ and drunken ‘I love you’s pale in comparison.

“I promise. I’ll do it this time. Prove your idiot brother wrong. Prove everyone but you wrong. You’ll like that. You love always being right.”

He can’t see him in the dark, but Theon can tell that he’s made Robb smile. And that’s always enough.


	3. Courtyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actually 100% fluff this time I promise. Mention of Jon/Ygritte. Shotgunning.

They’re sitting outside in the courtyard because Robb is adamant that Theon isn’t allowed to smoke in his dorm room. Theon protests that no one will notice if he just blows the smoke out the window, but Robb guilts him into going outside with a protest about potentially losing his job as the RA. And rather than a joint, it’s a cigarette, because Robb really is a genius when it comes to making Theon want to obey the rules. He sighs out a cloud of smoke and ignores the other boy’s frown. Robb’s hated the idea of Theon smoking since he started six years ago. To be fair, Robb was twelve and certain he would never touch alcohol or cigarettes and Theon was only fourteen.  
“Don’t act like you never smoke,” Theon grins.  
“Maybe a few times a year. Or during finals. You go through eight a day.”  
“You’ve been counting?” he asks, grinning wider and shifting to lie down in the grass.  
“It’s an estimate. Probably an accurate estimate.”  
“You dropped Statistics, you don’t get to tell me about accuracy and estimates.”  
“I didn’t drop Stats, it isn’t dropping if you switch to Calculus. Hell, I wish that I had dropped it. I still hate math.”  
Theon starts to offer to do the online work for him, but is distracted when he notices Jon try to duck past them unnoticed. That’s unusual, because usually Jon is happy to see Robb. Even when Theon is around, Jon usually stops to talk with his brother. It’s then that he notices the bruising on Jon’s neck, half covered by his hair and by the hand he’s trying to hide it with.  
“Oh, fuck, is that a hickey?”  
Robb chokes slightly on his coffee before grinning wildly. Jon instantly goes red and glares down at Theon. Robb starts asking questions about who left the marks and Jon mutters about that redhead with the weird accent. Theon bides his time by powering through most of his cigarette. Just as the mortified boy’s leaving, Theon glances at Robb and calls out to Jon.  
“Is it really a hickey or are you two into that weird choking shit?”  
Robb looks horrified for a moment, but then Jon trips a bit in his flustered escape and Robb’s face melts into a grin. As Jon hunches his shoulder and heads back to the dorm, Robb throws his head back in laughter. Theon smiles and just watches him laugh for a few seconds before the cigarette he had forgotten about burns his fingers. He grunts and flicks away the butt before digging in his pocket for another. He ignores Robb’s sudden frown, lights the cigarette, and takes a drag.  
“I really hope it’s not a choking thing,” Robb mutters and Theon lets out a quick laugh which sends up a great cloud of smoke. Robb is smiling again and reaches over to take the cigarette out of his mouth to take a drag for himself. In retaliation, Theon takes a sip of his coffee before wrinkling his nose in disgust. They both drink their coffee black, but Robb has always leaned towards the stupid flavors like Hazelnut or Pumpkin Spice. The other boy smirks just a bit and hands the cigarette back to him.  
“Sometimes I think you only pick the flavored kind to keep me from drinking it.”  
“Could you blame me? You’ve hated the flavor of pumpkin since we were kids. It does the trick.”  
Theon shifts around on the grass, trying to remember how he managed to be comfortable a few minutes ago. He gives up and makes a quarter turn so he can rest his head on Robb’s outstretched legs, takes a drag, and passes to Robb.  
“Just wanted one puff.”  
“No one ever wants just one. Lighten up, Stark. And tell me what has you stressed out enough to be smoking.”  
Robb rolls his eyes, but takes the cigarette and mumbles something about Calculus again. Something about mathematics has always been hard for Robb. On a night back in middle school, Robb had confided in him about his jealousy towards Jon, who had always exceled in Algebra. Theon recalls being bitter that Robb had never been jealous of his own mathematic prowess. To be fair, the idea of Robb being jealous of Theon was ridiculous. If anyone else were around, Theon would be happy to smirk and crow about his talent, but Robb’s insecurities have always been a private matter. Later, he’ll wonder if Robb’s ever whispered to Jon about his envy towards himself.  
“Your Calc class is at 3, yeah? We could always study it after lunch,” Theon offers. It’s important to call it studying and not tutoring, because while Robb is the best person Theon knows, he still has surprisingly prickly pride. Robb nods slightly in agreement and they’re silent until the cigarette is almost down to the filter.  
They’re both staring at it, because it’s Robb’s turn but Theon’s cigarette. Suddenly Theon smirks and Robb glances at him with the slightest bit of worry in his eyes. Theon takes the final pull and stubs out the butt as Robb rolls his eyes. He definitely isn’t expecting it when Theon pulls him down and presses their mouths together to breathe the smoke into his lungs. Luckily, he catches on quickly enough that he doesn’t choke on it, and when he pulls away he blows out the smoke. Robb raises an eyebrow at Theon, still slightly hunched over him.  
“Sharing. The girls love it.”  
“And the boys?”  
“The boys usually think it’s too girly.”  
“It’s a tad submissive, yeah.”  
“Better than letting a girl choke you.”  
Robb scoffs and pulls away, but then rests his hand in Theon’s hair.  
“Maybe it’s not all that bad,” Robb replies and laughs when Theon stares at him in shock, “The smoke thing. Not the choking thing.”  
“Remind me to share with you more often,” Theon shrugs, “And remind me to fuck your brother if I’m in the mood for kinky.”  
Ten minutes later, they’re still wrestling in the courtyard.


	4. Thin Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon and Robb's dorm rooms have a shared wall.

It’s about four in the afternoon when Robb first hears music through the wall against his bed. He sighs, but he’s used to hearing Theon’s music through the surprisingly thin walls. And it’s not as though it’s quiet hours yet, so he tries to tune the noise out and focus on studying Calculus.   
But then he realizes that Theon is listening to that new “Wrecking Ball” song and he turns to stare at their shared wall in amusement. Eventually, he manages to focus on the textbook again. His studying lasts for about three minutes before he realizes that Theon is listening to the song again. And again. And one more time. Finally he breaks down and heads into the neighboring room. His friend looks up from his spot on the bed and raises an eyebrow in confusion. He’s got headphones in, Robb realizes, and he has no idea that the headphones aren’t plugged in. Robb heads for the bed and leans over the laptop to pick up the unattached cord and Theon’s smile twitches before he pauses the music video.   
“I just wanted to see what the fuss was about. The video isn’t even that bad,” he explains with a smirk.   
“You know, I could believe that if you hadn’t just played it four times in a row,” Robb laughs. Theon huffs and tries to say that he’s only watched it four times because it involved a naked woman. For the next week, Robb plays the song every time they get into his car and grins when Theon glares at him.

It’s been an impressively long time since Robb has gotten laid, because he isn’t exactly the type who enjoys one night stands (the last time he tried, he ended up dating the girl for the next few months).   
It isn’t as though he’s the only guy in the dorm who gets himself off late at night, when he knows he won’t be bothered.  
This time his phone buzzes three times in quick succession.   
I knew you didn’t keep lotion around for your hands.  
Even if you’re still a prude.  
Do girls ever make fun of that sound you make?  
Robb chokes a bit.  
Theon laughs from the other side of the wall.   
The week of the first Calculus exam, Robb gets frustrated enough to throw his book across the room. He ignores the fact that the textbook slams into his cork board and sends it clattering to the floor.   
A knock comes from the wall a few seconds later.   
“I’m fine,” Robb calls through the wall.   
“You fall off the bed?”   
“No. I’m studying for Calc,” he responds. Soon after, Theon comes through his door and turns to inspect the book and corkboard.   
“You didn’t have to take it out on your little glorified scrapbook.”  
“It’s not a scrapbook.”  
“Bullshit. It’s just like your mother’s scrapbook. Full of stupid family pictures and ticket stubs and sentimental shit,” Theon argues as he shifts the board to pick up the Calculus book. His usual smile shifts into something softer when he picks up a piece of paper that had fluttered off of the collage. Robb recognizes it as a quote from one of the Palahniuk books Theon had lent him. Truthfully, Robb hated all of the books, but Theon loved them and the quote reminded him of his friend.   
Theon heads over to perch on his desk and glances up at him, book in hand.  
“Chapters 1 through 6, yeah?”  
Once, Robb does fall off of his bed. Theon laughs and takes a minute before coming over to continue making fun of him.   
Or, possibly, to see that he hasn’t hurt himself.  
But even Robb realizes the former is more likely.   
Robb’s text tone chirps while Jon is over.  
Tell him to shut the fuck up or stick in in the girl already.  
He ignores the message.  
Or better yet, do both.  
He smiles apologetically at his brother.  
Or even better, he shuts the fuck up and I fuck the girl for him.   
Jon’s always been quick to catch on. He rolls his eyes at the wall and raises his voice a bit.  
“It’s funny, isn’t it Robb? How we’re in the same situation. Ygritte’s not a coward, at least.”  
His phone goes quiet and stays that way. Two days later he gets another text from Theon.  
You think she choked him when they fucked?  
Robb startles and slams his laptop shut when Theon barges into his room.   
“Were you seriously just watching what I think you were watching?”  
Robb stares straight at him and says nothing at first. Then realization dawns on him.  
“I might be watching the Notebook. But you knowing that means you recognized the lines.”  
They’re both quiet for a while then, until Theon shrugs and moves to join him on the bed.   
“I have nothing better to do.”  
Robb grows used to hearing his friend fuck girls.  
He is not, however, used to hearing Theon say his name.


	5. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few people distinctly asked me for a continuation of the last ficlet so I did something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Jon POV, to swtich things up. (Also because I cannot get this out in any non-Jon POV, for unknown reasons. Why is Jon in all of my Throbb fic, you ask? Don't ask stupid questions. )

Jon, for the first time in his life, is at a college party. He only showed up because Pyp and Grenn bodily removed him from his dorm room, but he’s still stuck here as their designated driver. It’s been an hour, which is long enough for him to already be bored (and honestly a bit disillusioned about college being the “best years of his life”). He’s turned down drinks from three different girls, and if he wasn’t so embarrassed, he would probably be flattered. Instead, he feels awkward because Pyp’s comparing him to the pretty girls at clubs, who he claims never pay for their own drinks.  Jon checks his phone three times, because Ygritte keeps texting to ask what he’s doing. Once, she sends him a picture of his room, which is startling because he never leaves his door unlocked. He would spend more time wondering how she got into his room if it weren’t for Theon knocking into him on his way into the room.

Jon has never cared much for Theon Greyjoy.

Theon Greyjoy is a complete shithead. He’s selfish, crude, and often incredibly stoned or smashed. He’s not as funny as he thinks he is. He’s not as smart as he thinks he is. He’s not as talented as he thinks he is. He treats every girl he has ever been with poorly. He’s insecure, even though he thinks he hides it well. He doesn’t. Jon is used to all of these failings.

But he’s not used to Theon going back on his word to Robb.

And Jon’s had a shitty enough night that he isn’t about to let it go.

“Theon,” he calls, and Theon turns to look at him before breaking into a smug smirk.

“Since when do you go to parties? Did you have your first beer tonight?” the other boy asks, blatantly mocking him. When Jon doesn’t react, he raises an eyebrow.

“You told Robb you’d stop,” Jon says, disgust obvious in his tone.

“I tell all sorts of people all sorts of things,” Theon shrugs at him and smirks again before turning away. Every muscle in Jon’s body goes tense. He’s livid.

“I have no clue what the hell he sees in you. There’s no saving you. There’s no redeeming quality,” Jon continues. Theon looks over his shoulder at him, amused. Jon recalls Robb telling him about Theon’s promise to quit drinking. He remembers Robb’s firm belief in his fuck-up of a friend. He remembers Robb refusing to accept that Theon was going to drink himself sick again. Most distinctly, he remembers Robb’s text on Thursday, reminding Jon that this was “Thirsty Thursday” and yet Theon was staying in.

Jon doesn’t care that Theon’s ruining his life. He doesn’t want to try to save Theon from himself. He thinks Theon’s addicted to attention and that he needs to grow up. But he can’t stand the fact that his brother is going to be hurt by this.

“He was proud of you,” Jon hisses.

And then the unexpected happens. Theon’s face twitches into confusion. Into worry. Into all sorts of emotions Jon has literally never seen on the other boy in all of the years he’s known him. Almost immediately, Theon is in control again, rolling his eyes. But for the first time in the ten years he has known the other boy, he understands.

Theon has never cared about Jon’s opinion of him. Theon has never cared about the girls he’s fucked. Theon has never cared about taking care of himself.

But Theon has always cared about Robb’s opinion.

 _Hell_ , Jon thinks, _maybe he just cares about Robb._

He has never considered that Robb’s self-destructive, annoying, shitty friend cared about anyone but himself. But now that he’s reflecting on it, he’s starting to piece together all the little things Theon would never do for anyone but Robb.

_He’s been tutoring him, even._

_God, he might have a_ thing _for him_.

The realization softens his own expression and now Theon is looking at him like a cornered animal. Jon laughs softly and Theon’s face contorts into a glare. He stalks away, into another room. A few minutes later, he leaves the party. And then he gets a text from Robb which points out that it is a Saturday night and Theon just came over to watch a movie with him.

Part of Jon almost finds it sweet now that he’s figured Theon out.

The rest of Jon cannot fucking wait to screw with Theon now that he knows how. 


	6. Typical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of Thin Walls. Because I am not actually a monster. Probably.

A few minutes after hearing his name through the wall, Robb listens as Theon awkwardly tries to explain his way out of the faux pas of moaning Robb’s name instead of his partner’s. Robb is moderately ashamed of himself, ear pressed up against their shared wall. Then he remembers a trick Theon taught him during a sleepover years ago, and he scrambles to find a glass to press up against the wall (Back then, it had been the far more innocent game of spying on family members). Now, he can hear the conversation more clearly, though it isn’t helping to clear his head.

“Oh, no, I don’t mind,” a gentle voice insists, “Those Starks get into everyone’s heads, don’t they?”

There’s a long pause and quite a bit of shuffling. The next time one of them speaks, it’s from the hallway.

“Don’t say anything,” Theon insists, and Robb feels as though he recognizes the dainty laughter that follows.

Theon doesn’t talk to him for four days. When he does, he’s so typically _Theon_ that Robb has no idea how to bring the incident up. So he doesn’t.

Instead, things progress a bit more naturally.

For two weeks, Robb feels hyper vigilant about any physical contact.

And Theon remains himself.

He snarks about Robb’s duties as an RA and refuses to stop smoking in his dorm room. Robb half-heartedly threatens to write him up, but Theon smiles lazily at him and says nothing until Robb sighs and settles for asking nicely. Theon tells him to beg. They end up wrestling and knock down Robb’s corkboard.

He joins him for movies after dinner, but never actually allows Robb to avoid his Calculus work.

They spend most of Saturday playing Brawl until Robb is called away for an “emergency” involving a roommate dispute. As it turns out, one of the girls had gotten upset enough to remove all of her roommate’s belongings from her side of the room. Via the window. When he comes back, Theon jolts away from the corkboard. It takes Robb a few nights to figure out that Theon has carefully covered Jon in each of the family pictures.

Nothing changes, which is what Robb thought he wanted.

So of course, he realizes that he wants things to change.

He works himself into a confused panic and ends up calling Jon. His brother shows up half an hour later, coffee for both of them and visibly worried.

Robb spends fifteen minutes rambling about coffee while Jon’s expression grows less and less sympathetic. He stands up to pace and rub at the stubble which he has yet to shave this morning.

“Do you think it’s possible that I might actually have a thing for Theon?” he manages.

If this had been a less genuine question, Robb would have laughed at his brother’s reaction. Jon literally chokes on his coffee, gets a good deal of it on his scarf and starts shaking his head. He isn’t looking at Robb, which is peculiar. Instead, he’s staring at the ceiling and shaking his head pointedly.

Robb perches on the edge of the bed and stares at Jon with brutal openness.

“Oh _god_ ,” Jon mutters, and he’s not bothering to hide his horror. He mouths a repetition a few more times before Robb leans over to nudge him a bit harshly.

“I get it. I know you two have some kind of stupid rivalry you’ve held onto since childhood. But I mean it.”

“Did you two….?”Jon starts, then promptly resumes shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling.

Robb shakes his head and Jon is noticeably relieved. He’s less than happy when Robb starts trying to pry information out of him. They both go silent when there’s a knock on the door just a moment before Theon walks through it.

Theon’s mouth is open, halfway through an unheard sentence. He glances at Robb, who is red faced and slightly terrified. Then he makes eye contact with Jon, and the two of them stare at each other. Unexpectedly, it’s Theon who goes pale and begins to back out of the room. Jon latches onto his opportunity to escape and stands up swiftly. When he walks past Theon, he gestures for the other boy to enter.

Jon closes the door behind him, and Robb is fairly certain that he’s still shaking his head in disbelief as he walks down the hallway.

After an awkward silence, Theon settles down to face him on the bed. Theon isn’t actually looking at him. Instead, he looks frightened and hunched protectively around himself. They’re quiet for a while, until they both move at the same time.

Theon is reaching for the remote and Robb is leaning in to kiss him.

Theon jolts back in confusion when Robb’s teeth make contact with the bridge of his nose. He finally looks Robb in the eyes and is so endearingly confused that the tension goes out of Robb instantly.

“Did you just fucking bite me?” Theon is moderately aghast, and Robb lets out a bark of laughter.

“I think I did.”

Theon stares at him blankly.

“Why the fuck did you bite me, then?”

Robb shakes his head and reaches a hand to the back of the other boy’s neck. Theon flinches in response, and Robb is certain he’ll apologize later for forgetting how much Theon hates sudden touching.

When he kisses Theon, he goes stiff and doesn’t respond. And when Robb pulls away, Theon won’t look at him. Robb, for once, cannot tell what Theon is thinking. He can recognize the mixture of anger and hurt, though.

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Theon mutters, quiet but startlingly serious as he jolts up and away from the bed.

Robb’s staring at the empty space before him on the bed.

“Theon. Please.”

Robb can’t actually think of what to say, but that’s enough to get Theon to sit down again. Though, this time it’s much further away from him.

“He told you, didn’t he? He figured it out and he told you,” Theon laughs, and the sound is harsh and angry.

Robb takes a moment to put together the fragments he’s gotten from Jon and Theon. And then he smiles and shakes his head.

“No. No, but now I understand why he reacted the way he did this morning,” Robb laughs, and it is far happier than Theon’s laughter.

Robb sits back against his pillows and waits for Theon to put together his own version of this puzzle.

“You’re telling me you went to Jon for _relationship advice?”_ Theon scoffs.

Just like that, they’re back to normal.

Robb rolls his eyes and is internally and eternally embarrassed by the way his anxiety builds as Theon moves closer and leans over him.

“I can’t believe you fucking bit me. You Starks really are horrible at anything involving…” Theon trails off, and Robb figures he must be nervous as well. It’s amusing, to think of Theon as being shy in any situation. He laughs and Theon huffs back at him.

“I can actually feel your heart beating, don’t you laugh at me,” Theon smirks.

Then they’re actually kissing. And it’s not particularly gentle. It’s not nearly romantic. When Theon insistently tries to work Robb’s mouth open, he realizes that Theon acting any other way wouldn’t have seemed very _Theon_ at all. Robb laughs again and Theon responds with a noise halfway between amusement and annoyance. Robb’s mouth twists into a frown when he makes out the phrase “like some giggly virgin”. Then Theon laughs and Robb uses the chance to slide his own tongue into Theon’s mouth. Theon is remarkably compliant, Robb thinks. He’s corrected when Theon bites down on his tongue and smirks. Everything melds together into a giddy happiness, until Robb moves a hand up to rest on Theon’s waist.

“You know we can’t do this. I’m not going to do this,” Theon intones while moving away, “It wouldn’t work out. I don’t want to date you.”

If he’s honest with himself, Robb knew this was coming. He settles for shrugging slightly at Theon.

“Then we’ll figure out where to go from here,” he reassures him. Theon’s always been flighty and notoriously bad with relationships. Robb’s known him for ten years, and is confident in his ability to work things out.

Theon, on the other hand, is staring at his own hands with an unreadable expression. Robb gives him his space, and picks up his textbooks from under the bed. Theon doesn’t cheer up until Jon comes in an hour or so later to retrieve the phone he left behind during his escape earlier in the morning, all the while avoiding looking directly at either of the other boys.

Robb isn’t worried until he tries to kiss Theon again over Calculus homework and the older boy silently gets up and goes back to his room. 


	7. Mischief Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I give up. It's a chapter fic now. This chapter features the return home for Halloween.

It’s October 30th, a Thursday this year, and Robb is willing to drive five hours home in order to bring his little siblings out Trick-or-Treating tomorrow night. No other person in the history of college education could have talked his way out of Friday classes the way that Robb just did. When Robb asks if Theon is coming along, he shrugs and decides skipping one day doesn’t matter quite as much as the tradition of mocking Robb’s costume does.

Theon throws clothing into his backpack and heads down to Robb’s already packed car. He isn’t surprised to find Jon leaning against Robb’s car. They stare blankly at each other, both standing next to the front passenger side door. When Robb comes outside, Jon glances between the two of them before submitting and taking the back seat.

Most of the five hour trip is spent with as little communication as possible. Robb is doing a fairly good job pretending to be his usual cheery self, but on occasion he glances at Theon with a hopeful yet disappointed expression. Theon ignores him in favor of staring out the window and lying his seat back in an attempt to crush Jon’s legs.

Jon, for his part, has his headphones on and simply moves to sit behind Robb when Theon moves his seat back. Theon glances at him, then at Robb, and then at himself in the side mirror.

Robb’s probably worried about Theon. He’s probably wondering if his family will instinctively know that Theon’s tongue has been in his mouth.

Jon’s probably horrified by knowing that Theon’s tongue has been in Robb’s mouth.

And Theon’s wondering how long he can drag out his friendship with Robb now that he’s set them on the road to an inevitable falling out.

When Robb pulls over for gas, Theon bursts into laughter because he isn’t sure which of the three feels the most awkward. Both of his companions stare at him, so he shrugs and laughs a bit more before pulling the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head.

“Wrecking Ball” comes on the radio, and Robb turns it up with a knowing smile at Theon. Theon doesn’t look at him and refuses to smile. The radio gets turned off. It starts raining. Theon resists the urge to start laughing again.

 Their arrival at the Stark household causes a great deal of excitement. Catelyn rushes to Robb, muttering something about the awful rain and reaching a hand out to touch his soaked hair. Sansa is instantly there, trying to ask her brothers as many questions about the “college experience” as she can. Arya has shouldered her way past the other Starks and has thrown her arms around Jon’s waist, burying her face into his chest and already moaning about how awful it’s been with only Sansa and “the babies” for company. Bran quietly smiles up at Robb. Rickon is crawling around on the floor, barking like a dog. Theon slips past all of the Starks and heads up to Robb’s room. Ned nods an acknowledgment at him when he passes, but most of the Starks are so used to his presence that they ignore him.

He drops his backpack at the foot of the bed and glances around the tidy room. It looks exactly the way it did when he helped Robb pack up the car for orientation (Theon had been packed for months, and simply stayed over the night before they left for school. His own family wasn’t sentimental enough for the traditional first day of college drop-off).

Theon’s alarmed when he hears a knock on the door.

“It’s your fucking room, you’re allowed to enter it.”

“It’s Sansa,” comes an exasperated sigh.

Theon raises both eyebrows at the still closed door before moving to open it and look down at her (Just barely. She’s grown so much in the last few years that he’s terrified she’s going to end up taller than he is).

“Pretty sure big brother Robb is still downstairs being coddled by your mother.”

“I wanted to ask you how Margaery is doing. She said that she knows you. I don’t…exactly see you two getting along. But she mentioned you.”

Theon stares at the girl, wondering whether he should feel horrified or entertained. He does know Margaery. And Margaery knows more than she ought to. Although, she had promised not to mention his Robb-based slip up in the bedroom.

Sansa looks puzzled, and he realizes he hasn’t responded.

“Oh. Oh, I know her. Quite well,” he answers, smug and crude.

Sansa huffs and heads two doors down to close herself into her bedroom.

 An hour later, Robb enters the room with an apologetic smile and a good-natured sigh. He explains that he finally pried himself away from his family by feigning exhaustion.

Theon’s on his laptop, curled up in a beanbag in the corner of the room. He nods without looking up from the screen. He can still tell that Robb is watching him, standing still in the center of the room. He hears another sigh and then the door closes with a soft click.

“You’re going to have to explain yourself eventually,” Robb says, moving to sit on his bed and remove his shoes.

Theon still doesn’t look up from his screen.

“Not much to say. Stick to fucking girls. Or…making love to them, I suppose.”

“Theon.”

“No. Come on. You know as well as I do that I’m not the relationship type. And you are. We aren’t exactly compatible.”

Robb goes quiet, and Theon finally looks up at him. It’s better if they remain friends, in Theon’s opinion. He realizes that they’ve already crossed a threshold and put themselves on a path to “failed friendship” but if they pretend to forget what happened, Theon may have a few more years with Robb before things fall apart. Far better odds than if he did what he actually wanted to.

“I’m going to stay on the couch,” Theon decides, closing his laptop and heading for the door. Robb reaches out and grabs his wrist firmly, and Theon’s never been a great example of self control. He turns and pushes Robb back onto the bed they used to share during sleepovers.

“No. Robb, no. This is so fucking stupid,” Theon’s muttering, mouth pressed into Robb’s neck. Robb’s hand goes to his hair and holds him in place.

“It’s not stupid. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine,” Robb responds. Theon can tell he’s trying to sound reassuring, but he’s obviously distracted.

“You can be really fucking stupid,” Theon mumbles, and he’s not certain if he’s talking to Robb or himself.

He’s ruining any chance of keeping Robb as a friend. He knows he is. He knows that if he keeps this up, he’s going to lose Robb. And then he’s going to be well and truly alone. Robb’s been his only real friend since elementary school, where Theon latched on for dear life. He knows that Robb is going to get sick of him. Or he’s finally going to realize that Theon is incapable of fulfilling his promises. He’s finally going to understand that Jon is right when he tries to tell him that Theon is a lost cause.

But Robb smells like he has since he settled on his cologne of choice back in Freshman year of highschool. And they’re in a bed that they used to stay up telling secrets in. And Robb is kissing along Theon’s jaw. And Robb’s smiling.

Then someone knocks on the door, and the two jolt apart. Robb is wide-eyed and slightly open-mouthed. Theon quickly snatches up the laptop he dropped and throws open the door, brushing past Bran and Rickon and a plate of peanut butter cookies. 


	8. Peanut Butter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween morning involves a few traditions

                Most of the Stark children are at school on the 31st. Jon has spent most of the morning avoiding Catelyn and constantly checking his phone. Theon offers to help her with the breakfast dishes, but she smiles faintly at him and hands the dish towel to Robb instead. He takes the hint and heads onto the back porch to smoke through half a pack of cigarettes. It’s somehow always colder here than he expects it to be.

                Robb joins him briefly before heading inside. He returns with a sweatshirt and holds it out to him. Theon starts to thank him and then deadpans when he sees the bright orange pumpkin on the front. Robb grins at him and Theon rolls his eyes before pulling the sweater over his head.

                “Have you ever known me to care about what I’m wearing?” Theon jokes.

                “I don’t even think Sansa spends as much time picking out an outfit as you do.”

                Theon scoffs, but can’t actually protest. Robb heads out to the shed while Theon finishes his cigarette.  He returns with two rakes and half-throws one to Theon, who fails to catch it.

                “Oi. Get your sulky brother to do your manual labor.”

                “Shut up and come help.”

                Half of the yard has been cleared of leaves and things have melded back into comfortable familiarity.

                When all of the leaves in the yard have been piled together, Robb returns to the shed to grab trash bags. Theon makes a show of opening up one of the bags while Robb starts to shove leaves into his own bag. In one swift movement, Theon pulls the bag down over Robb’s head and pushes him into the leaf pile. He immediately howls with laughter, because this is the fourth year in a row that he’s managed to do this. Robb doesn’t remove the bag from his head until after he’s yanked on Theon’s lower legs and sent him sprawling as well.

                “You’re an idiot,” Robb grunts, lying flat on his back and surrounded by leaves. Theon thinks that the colors compliment his hair nicely. And then he hates himself for not being able to shake off this stupid longing. He grabs a handful of leaves and tosses them over Robb’s face, but they don’t cover his smile.

                Theon stops propping himself up on his elbows and settles face down in the leaf pile. He hears a few leaves crunching and waits to be covered in return. Instead, Robb’s hand latches onto his with enough strength to feel like a command and not a question. Theon doesn’t pull his hand away, despite everything in him telling him that he needs to.

                “Are you coming out with us tonight? When we take Rickon and Bran and Arya?”

                “Sansa’s too old for Trick-or-Treating now?”

                “She says a friend from college is visiting. She’s going to some…Halloween party.”

                “A party sounds more like my scene. Don’t you want someone making sure no one touches your sister? She’s kind of growing up hot.”

                Robb’s free hand cuffs the back of Theon’s head.

                “Do you still insist on wearing stupid costumes?”

                “It isn’t stupid to wear a costume on Halloween. You and Jon are just…joyless. Sometimes.”

                “Me? Joyless?”

                “It’s a knight costume this year,” Robb responds, ignoring him.

                “Are we talking medieval knight or 300 knight?”

                “Funny. And they were Spartans, not knights.”

                Theon hears rustling again and props himself up again to glance at Robb.

                “I’m not playing dress-up. And I get all of the Twix bars when someone leaves the whole bowl out.”

                “You get one, when it says to take one.”

                Theon looks back at the house to check for anyone looking out from the kitchen window. When he sees no one, he moves to lean over Robb.

                “All of the Twix bars. And I won’t compliment Jon’s Cher wig when he comes downstairs.”

                “That’s almost a Halloween tradition.”

                “Right up there with Arya and Bran fighting over this year’s biggest superhero and you eating enough Reese’s cups to make yourself sick.”

                “Peanut butter. You know how I feel about peanut butter.”

                “You smell like peanut butter,” Theon mentions. He noticed when Robb first came out onto the porch, but at least now it’s relevant.

                Robb quirks an eyebrow at him and it comes across as a challenge. When Theon doesn’t move, Robb sighs and looks away.

                “There’s a reason I always help with the dishes.”

                “You’re far too old to get cookies in exchange for chores,” Theon insists. He imagines Robb must taste like peanut butter right now, but it wouldn’t be worth it to check.

                Then Robb looks at him and smiles. Theon kisses him, and he doesn’t actually taste like peanut butter.

                Then the screen door slams shut and they both look up to see Jon looking at them.

                It’s dead silent.

                “Cher,” Theon finally manages and Jon turns and heads back into the house.

                Robb bursts into laughter and brushes the leaves off of himself while Theon smiles back at him.  


	9. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure this is the last of this college AU. God, what can I possibly waste my time on now?

Robb starts rounding up the Stark progeny at 5. It takes them until 6 to all be fully dressed and ready to leave the house. Sansa is watching her younger siblings run around with a mixture of envy and superiority. This is the first year she won’t be joining them. Instead, as a Junior in high school, she is finally going to a Halloween party.

Robb has been in a knight costume since 4:30. Jon and Theon both still refuse to wear costumes, though Jon has donned a t-shirt with a ribcage print on it. Theon continues to harass him about how he needs to dress like Cher if he insists on never cutting his black curls. Jon ignores him, as he does every year. Theon suggests Frank-n-Furter as an alternative, and Jon retorts that it would suit Theon better. Theon smiles  at him and Jon stalks away to help Arya with her cape.

Eventually, they make it out the front door. Ten feet down the road, Robb notices that Rickon is missing his plastic pumpkin basket and runs back to fetch it. When he returns, Bran sheepishly tells him that he forgot his mask. As Robb turns to head back, Theon titles him “Squire Stark”. While they wait, Jon kneels down to fix Arya’s Batman cowl. He whispers something to her and she looks up at Theon before laughing. Theon considers kicking Jon while he’s kneeling, but then Robb returns at a full sprint with Bran’s Batman mask.

Theon doesn’t understand why the kids couldn’t pick different heroes. Robb has asked him to kindly not ask the children. All three of which are wearing miniature Batman costumes.

The kids are at full speed for the first two blocks, with Robb chasing after them. Jon and Theon both hang back and stick to walking at a normal speed. This is how it’s been for years. In all honesty, the holidays are the only times the two get along. Not because of good will towards each other, but because they both try to stay out of the picture as much as possible. Jon, however, usually gets called into the Stark swarm later in the night.

“You and Robb, then,” Jon says. It’s a question, Theon assumes, but it doesn’t sound like one.

“No. Not really. Don’t worry about it.”

Jon stares at him. Theon isn’t sure whether he’s going to be punched or coddled. Both options piss him off.

“You’re not allowed to do that. Not with him. You can’t just…”

“What, I’m not allowed to just fuck him and leave him?” Theon laughs.

Jon’s face goes still, which is usually a sign that he’s going to take a swing at him.

“You’re his best friend.”

Theon briefly breaks eye contact to glance at Robb, who’s offering his own FunDip to Arya to prevent a fight between his siblings.

And then Jon smiles. Just barely.

“I kind of get it now. What he must see in you. You’re a complete ass. But you actually care about him. You’re scared of upsetting him,” Jon explains. And then he laughs softly.

Theon’s entire body goes tense and he considers clocking Jon in the mouth.

Robb calls to them and Theon resists the urge to move before Jon does. Now they’re in a bit of a pissing match, with Theon trying to prove that he _isn’t_ somehow whipped by Robb and Jon hoping to prove that he is.

“You might actually not be a complete twat if you two were dating,” Jon tells him, “Though he’d still be a complete idiot for picking you over anyone else.”

Jon heads after Robb. Theon wants nothing more than to find that stupid party Sansa is going to and escape into a bottle of vodka and some stranger’s mouth. He settles for heading back to the Stark house and digging half a handle of rum out of his backpack.

He’s looking out the window when Robb returns half an hour or so later, carrying Rickon on his shoulders. Arya excitedly pulls Jon into the house, likely pestering him about candy trading. Bran looks completely and utterly ready for bed.

A while later, there’s a knock on the door and Theon ignores it. Robb knocks again before opening the door. He’s still wearing the knight costume, which makes his expression seem hilarious. The now empty bottle is on Robb’s dresser and Theon is slumped a bit in a seat by the window. Robb looks worried, and paints the perfect picture of a Disney prince. Theon rolls his eyes at the image and Robb’s expression sours.

“Don’t roll your eyes,” Robb warns, picking up the bottle, “It’s serious. You said-“

“I lie to all the girls I sleep with, Robb.”

“Not to me. You don’t lie to me. I don’t know what this _thing_ we’re doing is. But you sure as hell don’t get to use it as a reason to change that. It’s fine. If you don’t want to do…this. If we don’t try and change things. But you don’t get to try and make me angry.”

Theon feigns disinterest and continues looking out the window. Robb tosses something at him before he leaves the room. Theon looks down into his lap, and sees a King size Twix bar. Robb is literally the kindest person he knows. He’s the best a person is capable of being.

Robb comes upstairs again after the younger Stark children are tucked away into their beds. He closes the door and leans back against it, waiting for Theon to say something. Theon knows he should really try to explain himself. Or he should ask to put things back to the way they were before this started. Or maybe he should ask him on an actual date.

“I don’t know what I want,” Theon admits. Robb smiles a bit and moves to sit on his bed. Eventually, he’ll need a decision. Robb prefers things that are clear cut. But for now, he’s accepting it as an answer.

“But I know that you look ridiculous in a knight costume. Squire costume.”

Robb scoffs and starts explaining that squires didn’t actually wear the same armor as a knight. Theon ignores him, because he’s pulling the top off, and on occasion Robb is more fun to look at than to listen to. Robb doesn’t notice, but he had never noticed when they were younger either.

They end up watching the second half of American Werewolf in London when it comes on the television. They make it through the first half of Evil Dead before they’re kissing again.

“I’d cheat on you,” Theon warns him, while another character dies on screen.

“Then we aren’t dating,” Robb responds. It sounds more like a plea, because Theon’s moving a hand down his stomach, and he’d likely say anything to keep him from stopping.

“You’ll end up hating me. If we start fucking, and I won’t date you, it’ll make you crazy.”

“You’re bound to realize sooner or later that this is working out,” Robb retaliates. He looks too sure of himself and it makes Theon a bit angry that he won’t listen. He won’t understand how stupid it is to hope that they’ll work out.

Once you start dating, Theon knows, you’re either going to get married or break up.

And Theon isn’t ever going to marry Robb Stark.

Even if they manage to date for the next 8 years, they’re going to break up. It’s going to be messy. And something will finally push Theon far enough that he _won’t_ be able to grin his way through it.

“You’re killing me,” Robb whispers, nodding his head towards Theon’s hand, which is just above the waistline of his pajama pants.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” Theon mutters.

He’s secretly amused when Bran and Rickon knock on the door, asking Robb to fetch their candy from the top of the fridge. Robb reminds them that it’s far past their bedtime, but still goes to get each child one last sweet.

Theon’s staring up at the ceiling when Robb returns, locking the door and climbing on top of him. He leans down to kiss Theon, hoping to reignite things before Theon gets flighty again.

“You taste like peanut butter. You took a Reese’s from one of your brothers,” Theon accuses him. Robb flushes slightly when Theon laughs at him. He looks absolutely disappointed (and a bit pissy) when Theon starts to squirm out from under him.

“Easy, kid. I just want my Twix now. Talk about over eager. This is worse than when I taught you how to kiss. “

“I didn’t think you remembered that. When was that….Sixth grade? You were in Eighth.”

“Because someone told you they were going to play Seven Minutes in Heaven at Jeyne Westerling’s birthday party.”

“They did. I still didn’t kiss anyone, though. I just couldn’t.”

Theon laughs and shakes his head.

“You’re too good of a person,” he says as he picks up his backpack. Robb makes a sound to convey his annoyance.

“Theon. Come on. Knock it off.”

Theon pauses before shaking his head again. Robb slides between him and the door.

“We’ll watch the rest of Evil Dead.”

Theon eventually gives in, and they spend the rest of the night as friends watching a horror movie marathon. Robb falls asleep first, and Theon doesn’t resist the urge to play with his hair. Robb wakes up, doesn’t comment on it, and shifts to rest his head on Theon’s shoulder.

Theon thinks he could get used to this, at least. Friends with benefits, he assures himself.

Robb knows better. 


	10. Not Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lied about being done with the College!AU. In this chapter, they work more on “not dating”.

Most of the week is uneventful. Robb goes to classes. He tutors other students in Ethics. He goes to Rugby practice. He spends a bit of time with Jon, when he has free time.

And he ignores hearing Theon fuck girls on the other side of their shared wall.

He’s annoyed and he’s jealous, which is an awful combination. Jon’s over one night when moans start filtering through the wall and Robb eyes the wall with such annoyance that Jon reaches over to pat his shoulder.

Theon finally visits him again on Friday night. Robb doesn’t bother trying to talk about what’s going on between them, and Theon settles on the opposite end of Robb’s bed with a laptop. They don’t talk much. Every minute or so, Robb’s phone buzzes with a message. It’s lying on the bed between them, and each time Theon glances down to check the name. Jeyne Westerling has been an on-again off-again girlfriend since middle school. Robb responds to yet another text, this time with a slight laugh.

Theon turns his attention back to his computer screen and rolls his eyes. Robb resists the urge to snap at him. Theon shifts just enough to press his calf against Robb’s outer thigh, without looking up from his screen. Robb considers shaking him for being frustrating, but then his phone buzzes again and he can feel Theon tense.

“You’ve been sleeping around, Theon. Surely me texting a girl doesn’t bother you that much,” Robb mutters.

“You used to date her. You used to come to me for advice about her.”

“You’re allowed to sleep around and I’m not supposed to talk to Jeyne?”

“There’s a difference between fucking and falling in love that you never managed to work out,” Theon responds. He’s not bothering to try covering up his jealousy.

“And you can’t manage to do both,” Robb retorts.

Theon ignores him in favor of staring blankly at his laptop.

Robb’s on the verge of apologizing when his phone buzzes again.

The laptop slams shut and Robb lets out a frustrated sigh and runs a hand through his hair before glancing up.

Surprisingly, Theon isn’t sulking out of the room. Instead, he’s moved to kneel with his knees on either side of Robb’s knees.

They stare at each other for a while. Robb waits at least twenty seconds before reaching for his phone. Theon grabs his wrist lightly to prevent him from doing so.

“Don’t fuck Jeyne.”

“If we aren’t dating, you don’t get a say in that,” Robb says, and then he’s reaching up with his free hand to pull Theon down with him.

“We aren’t dating,” Theon mutters against his mouth.

“That doesn’t mean we have to sleep with other people,” Robb replies, “That doesn’t mean you and I can’t sleep together.”

Theon smirks against his mouth and Robb slips his hands down to his waist.

 _Finally_ , Robb thinks, _finally finally finally._

“You won’t even say the word ‘fuck’,” Theon taunts. Robb scoffs and kisses the edge of Theon’s smile.

 _He doesn’t run when we act like we always do_ , Robb realizes.

“I bet mine’s bigger,” Robb challenges. Theon pulls away slightly and Robb instantly regrets it. But then Theon’s shaking his head and laughing hard enough that he’s turning a bit red.

Robb is emboldened, and he reaches for the zipper on Theon’s pants.

“Don’t fuck anyone else,” Robb commands. Theon pulls Robb’s hand away and leans down to kiss him again.

“Okay,” Theon says. And then he’s moving away.

Robb looks incredulous. Theon doesn’t look like he’s about to explain. Instead, he shifts to lie next to Robb instead.

“Theon.”

“One thing at a time, kid,” Theon’s trying to sound amused, but it’s a bit obvious that he’s worried about screwing this up.

Robb’s trying not to pout in response like a spurned fourteen year old. Theon lays a hand on his upper thigh and his whole body twitches in response.

“Plus this part is always so fun,” Theon smirks.

Robb stares back at him before sitting up slightly to remove his shirt.

Theon goes silent and it’s Robb’s turn to look smug.

 _Maybe if it’s a game, he won’t run_. 


	11. Brawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shameless fluff, and finally back to the whole small acts of kindness thing

“Stay still. You’ve got an eyelash pointing into your eye,” Robb tells him.

Theon lies still and keeps his eyes open while Robb reaches to brush it away from his eye. He’s still the slightest bit stoned from smoking earlier, and it takes effort to not dissolve into laughter.  It’s Robb who starts laughing, and accidentally jabs him in the eye. Then they’re both chuckling for the next few minutes. Theon’s abs hurt when he stops laughing, which is funny enough to start him laughing again.

“You haven’t gotten high with me since…what, your sophomore year of high school?”

“I know. I shouldn’t have. I don’t want to think about the Calc exam, though,” Robb explains, weaseling his way over to rest his head on Theon’s stomach. Theon huffs in amusement, which moves Robb’s head, and they both dissolve into giggles again.

“You did fine. You’ve been doing well on the quizzes now. You’ve got one hell of an ideal you try to live up to, don’t you?”

Robb shrugs and turns his head to look away from him. Theon reaches down to lace his fingers into red curls. He starts laughing again and Robb turns again to side eye him.

“You’re a fire crotch, aren’t you?”

Robb groans and moves to elbow him in the side, which makes him laugh harder. They half-heartedly wrestle, with Robb taking the heel of a hand in the temple and Robb’s forearm knocking into Theon’s teeth. They settle down again, with Theon still snickering softly to himself.

He reaches to touch the slight exposed place between Robb’s shirt and the top of his pants and lightly rubs a knuckle back and forth along his hipbone.

“Fire crotch,” he repeats. Robb reaches to nudge Theon in the side again, and he squirms in response.

“Ticklish. You always say you aren’t. But you are.”

“I’m not,” Theon asserts. Robb adjusts so he can actually tickle him. Theon maintains a perfectly deadpan expression for about fifteen seconds. Then he breaks and bites his lip to keep from laughing. Robb beams at him and continues tickling him until he starts thrashing.

“Shithead,” Theon mutters. Robb is still puffed up with the glee of being right.

They play Brawl for a while. After their first round, Theon pulls Robb’s back up against his chest and rests his head on the other boy’s shoulder. They play from this position, even though it’s decidedly uncomfortable for both of them.

At one point, Robb mutters for a while that he really can’t get high ever again. That his parents would be disappointed. That it’s illegal enough to make him feel guilty. Theon trails a hand under his shirt and onto his stomach, which stops him from thinking about repercussions. He runs a thumb along the trail of hair on Robb’s stomach. Robb presses back against him and turns his head to initiate a kiss.

Theon doesn’t kiss him, but mutters “manscapping fire crotch” against his mouth. Robb scowls and Theon laughs until he’s in pain again.

Jon comes in later in the day to join them. They shift apart when he knocks on the door. They all settle sitting side by side on the bed with Robb in the center, taking turns playing because they’ve only got two controllers. After Jon’s been in the room for a while, Theon shifts slightly so his thigh is touching Robb’s. Jon notices, and rolls his eyes before smiling just slightly. Robb’s relieved and grins at his brother. Theon’s distracted enough by the game to not notice the moment, which Robb is secretly glad about.

While Theon and Robb are playing, Jon notices that his face has been covered up on the corkboard. Robb chides Theon for doing it again and Theon smiles to himself contently. They head out to the dining hall together, and Theon and Jon are relatively civil to each other for most of the meal. Then Robb realizes he doesn’t have a spoon, and when he returns from fetching one, Jon is smirking just barely and Theon is pointedly glaring at him and looking flushed.

They head back from dinner and Jon leaves to visit Ygritte. Theon tries four different insults and three jokes, none of which make Jon drop his slight smile.

Robb pesters him for an hour about what happened between the two, but Theon refuses to tell him. They watch Trainspotting, which Theon loves and Robb finds depressing. Then they watch The Princess Bride, which Robb loves and Theon at least pretends to enjoy. Robb realizes that he hasn’t checked his phone all day, which means it’s still plugged in across the room. When he checks it, he laughs and Theon watches him carefully.

_Jon:_

_He keeps letting you win._

_How can you not tell?_

_It’s really obvious._

_And kind of makes me feel gross, tell him to stop._

 Robb tosses the phone to him, and Theon very nearly blushes. He has to wrestle the phone away from him, but not before Theon texts Jon to tell him “ _Only bitches let their girlfriends leave hickeys all over them”._

Robb makes a point of sucking a bruise onto Theon’s neck later, while Theon pretends to protest. It’s pretty telling when his fingers lace into Robb’s hair, though. And more telling when he gets him to moan when he bites him.

They’re both lying on their backs and facing the ceiling and Robb hasn’t thought about his exam in hours. He lightly teases Theon for letting him leave a hickey after giving Jon grief over it, and Theon retaliates by telling Robb that it means he took on the role of ‘girlfriend’.

Robb huffs, but doesn’t protest. At least ‘girlfriend’ is slightly closer to admitting that they’re dating now. Theon wears a scarf the next day. Jon raises his eyebrows and uses his chin to gesture to it. Theon scowls back at him and Robb hides his smile in a cup of coffee. 


	12. Earwigs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the bug trope makes an appearance.

Theon is sitting on the bed and hunched over slightly, favoring his left side. His lip is swelling and he’s holding his nose. Usually, Robb would offer him ice and painkillers, but he’s angry enough to try ignoring him instead.

“He deserved it,” Theon mumbles, and he sounds petty and pathetic.

Jon stormed out of the room not long ago, after the two had gotten into their first physical fight in years. When they were young, it was typical. As they grew older, it progressed more into ignoring each other or insulting each other. Today, though, they had come to fists. Over something bafflingly stupid.

A bug.

They had thrown punches over a bug.

An exceptionally awful bug, but nonetheless, a damned bug.

As it turns out, both Theon and Robb have an irrational fear of earwigs. And in the ten years they have known each other, neither one had mentioned it. So when it had gone scuttling across the floor, both of them had recoiled. Theon immediately feigned disinterest while Robb nudged Jon and gestured toward it.

Jon has always been a good brother. And so he had quietly gotten up to catch it with a tissue to carry it outside. And that’s when Theon began accusing Jon of being a “little girl” for not killing it. Which led to Jon insulting Theon for being afraid. And Theon vehemently denying it. And then it led to Jon approaching Theon with the earwig.

Which, in turn, led to Theon escalating matters and punching Jon square in the jaw. Jon dropped the tissue holding the insect in favor of punching Theon in the mouth and it took about four more punches before Robb could break them apart.

And now Theon was milking his pain for all it was worth.

“You shouldn’t have hit him. Over a bug. You haven’t fought like that in ages,” Robb scolds him. Theon avoids looking at him and eventually straightens back up. He smiles at Robb, and Robb remembers that Theon is very used to hiding his pain. He recalls all of the times Theon has shown up to his house looking battered, but grinning and acting unfazed. He briefly remembers that Theon’s father has told him never to come home again, and he remembers that Theon still hasn’t mentioned what led to his banishment.

Robb wants to go fetch ice for him now.

But then Theon points to the ground, where the fucking earwig is still scuttling around.

Robb stares at it hesitantly for a few moments before reaching for a textbook and killing it.

They’re both completely silent. Robb sighs and heads out of the room. When he returns with an ice pack, Theon’s already gone. Robb rolls his eyes and moves another few feet to open Theon’s door. Theon glances up blankly, but smiles a bit when he notices the ice pack.

He leaves Theon with the ice pack to check on Jon, who’s more annoyed and bitter than he is hurt. Theon’s never been able to throw a decent punch, which Jon is happy to remind him. Robb apologizes at least four times before he goes back to Theon’s room.

Theon is lying on his back with the ice pack directly over most of his face.

“I’m not apologizing. I fucking hate earwigs.”

“Yeah, I think I figured that much out.”

“Your brother is a fuckhead.”

Robb rolls his eyes and moves out of the doorway.

“You should stay here tonight,” Theon says, with his face still underneath the ice, “There are probably more in your room. Probably a nest.”

Robb laughs and accepts that this is the closest to “I want you to stay” that he’ll be hearing for a long time.

Much later, he worries that there actually might be an earwig nest in his room. 


	13. Corkboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sentiment.

Robb gets a second corkboard a few weeks after midterms, because he realizes that showing up with an already full board means there is no space for college memories. He has a surprising collection building up in his desk drawer and now at least they have a home.

The first thing to go up on the new corkboard is a picture of the Starks on move-in day. The second thing to go up is another picture. This one is just Robb and Jon outside of the dorm. Theon promptly covers Jon’s face with a post-it note with a squid drawn on it.

The post-it note gets shifted, but remains on the board.

Margaery Tyrell sells him two woven bracelets at a fundraiser. She gives him three and makes a point of telling him to give the pink one to Sansa the next time he goes home. Both Jon and Theon question the pink bracelet within minutes of seeing it (It does eventually make it home. Sansa blushes when Robb explains its origins, and Theon smirks while Robb stares at her in confusion).

Theon pins at least eight condoms to the corkboard over the following weeks. Robb is annoyed, because he keeps using the free condoms that Robb is supposed to keep on hand as an RA. And pushing a tack through them obviously makes them useless.

Theon is proud of himself anyway, and he makes a game of hiding them on the corkboards.

When Robb gets his Calculus midterm back with a ‘92’ marked on it, he considers putting it up. Instead, he puts up a small Ziploc bag with the wrappers of 92 miniature Reese’s cups. Theon claims that it wasn’t a particularly sentimental gift, and that he just ate the extras, which actually makes it less endearing. Robb is fine with being sentimental and always smiles when he sees the wrappers.

Once, he notices a condom has been slipped into the Ziploc bag.

He goes to a professional Rugby game with the Umbers, and his ticket gets tacked to the board.

Another three post-it note drawings get added. All of which had initially covered Jon’s face.

A note from Jeyne is on the board for three days. Theon notices. Robb explains that it’s honestly just an inside joke between friends. Theon smiles and shrugs. Robb takes it down. Theon protests until Robb puts it back up. A few nights later, and a post-it note with a whale is covering half of the note. Robb leaves it where it is.

Jon eventually draws him a wolf on a post-it note, to combat all of the sea life. It’s an impressive drawing. Another post-it note is pinned next to it, with an arrow and the word “show-off”.

By the end of the semester there are:

Twenty-three post-it note drawings.

Eleven pictures.

Ninety-two Reese’s wrappers.

Two tickets to the aquarium.

Three movie stubs.

And a ragged piece of paper with Theon’s neat handwriting on it.

The note had remained hidden underneath two condoms for at least a week, when Robb had feigned giving up on removing them.

_We should go to Times Square on New Years._

Robb agrees and wonders if Theon also finds the idea of spending New Year’s together inherently romantic. He thinks it might end up being their first actual date, and despite it being months away, he likes the sentiment enough to keep the note.

He adds the letters he receives from his mother in care packages. Although, he keeps them in an envelope and never actually allows anyone to see them.

And he adds a scribbled map, which a strange and terrifying gas station worker had drawn for Jon and himself when they had gotten lost trying to find hiking trails.

Sansa sends him a sweet note on floral stationery and done in calligraphy. Arya sends a very small Wolverine figurine. Bran sends a short story. Rickon sends a drawing labeled “Dog”. All of these things find a place on the corkboard, which is starting to look crowded.

Theon has an easier time hiding condoms now.

Eventually, Robb snaps that if Theon won’t sleep with him, he needs to stop reminding him. He’s aware that Theon’s avoiding it because he’s afraid of ruining things between them. He understands. He really does. And it’s only been a month or so since he started honestly considering Theon in a sexual way. He knows that this is part of the problem, because now he knows Theon has thought of him this way for much longer. And he realizes this imbalance upsets Theon, but it isn’t as though he can change the past. He understands.

But he’s still a college boy who hasn’t gotten laid in a few months, and constantly seeing condoms pinned to the board is making him crazy.

He expects Theon to flinch and then fake a smile, but instead Theon genuinely smirks and holds eye contact. At least he stops ruining all the free condoms.

By winter break, the entire coarkboard is full. He considers asking for another for Christmas and mentions it while out shopping for presents. Theon says it would be far too obvious a gift and that he ought to just buy himself another one. He also claims that corkboards are stupidly large and he’s going to run out of wall space. Jon smiles faintly and doesn’t seem to be listening. Robb figures it’s got something to do with his stress over picking a present for his girlfriend.

                The tree goes up in the Stark household, and nothing underneath it resembles a corkboard. He does buy himself another, which he stores in the corner of his room over break. When he comes back home one night, he spots what he thinks is a condom pinned to the board.

                He’s livid until he realizes that it’s a wrapped lollipop.

                Underneath which is a very small drawing of a squid, which becomes the first memory on this corkboard. 


	14. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no mistletoe, but there is Bonus!Margaery/Sansa

The Tyrells host a ‘Holiday Party’ on December 19th. All of the decorations are meticulously chosen so that they do not reflect any particular holiday. Theon’s always found ‘politically correct’ to mean ‘more boring than Ned Stark’, but it’s not so bad. Sansa, Robb, and Theon arrived half an hour ago in the same car. Robb made a point of mentioning that if Sansa chose to drink, she should have two glasses at most. Then he shifted his gaze to Theon, who ignored him in favor of complimenting Sansa’s dress. He grinned to himself when it made both Stark siblings uncomfortable.

Margaery greeted them each with a kiss on the cheek, while Loras thankfully settled for shaking hands. Margaery then smiled warmly at Theon before inclining her head towards Robb. Theon ducked past her and into the living room while pretending he hadn’t noticed.

Soon enough, Robb and Loras start talking about Rugby. They’re both passionate about it, which is cute at first but becomes boring quickly. Theon stands around with them until he can no longer bring himself to feign interest. Renly follows him into the kitchen, where they each down a champagne flute. Theon grabs another glass before heading back to Robb and Loras. Robb tenses slightly when he sees the champagne, but something about the Tyrells makes Robb’s political background come to the forefront, and he says nothing. Theon smiles slightly before handing the glass to Robb, who is instantly relieved.

One champagne flute is not enough to make Rugby any more interesting, and Theon wanders off again. There are enough people that moving through the house isn’t exactly easy. When he comes across a large spiral staircase, he heads upstairs. He’s fairly certain he’s not supposed to be upstairs, but the only people he knows at this party are the Starks and Margaery Tyrell. And he’s too proud to wander around looking lonely.

He doesn’t regret his choice to come upstairs when he hears giggling from down the hallway. It sounds like two girls, which is far more entertaining that most party hook-ups. He follows the sound to a bend in the hallway, where he finds Margaery and Sansa.

On one hand, Margaery had hinted that she was interested in Sansa.

On the other hand, Sansa Stark is kissing Margaery Tyrell. And holding a champagne flute in the hand which isn’t in Margaery’s hair.

                Theon makes a surprised noise, which draws attention to himself. Then he gestures vaguely upwards.

                “Funny. I didn’t see mistletoe.”

Sansa blushes very bright red, which reminds Theon of her brother. She starts sputtering and actually seems like she might start crying.

                He wonders what Robb is going to think of this. And then he wonders what _Ned and Cat_ are going to think of this. And then he starts laughing, because he wonders whether Robb or Sansa will bring up their…inclinations first.

                Margaery soothes Sansa with a soft shush before staring Theon dead in the eyes.          

                “Oh, no, Sansa. Theon isn’t going to tell anyone,” she says, sweet as honey.

                “He’ll tell Robb,” Sansa protests, sounding strangled.

                “No. No he won’t, sweetheart.”

                “It’s _Theon_. Of course he’s going to tell Robb.”

                “He’s not,” Margaery insists, calm as can be, while she brushes Sansa’s hair back without breaking eye contact with Theon.

                Theon isn’t exactly sure what he wants to do.

                Sure, he could tell Robb about Sansa.

                Though to be fair, Margaery could just as easily tell Sansa about Theon.

                Which may lead to Sansa telling Robb about Theon.

                _Which would be hilarious_ , because Robb quite obviously knows.

                Though, then Sansa would probably know about _Robb_.

                And right now only Jon knows about Robb.

                “I’m fucking your brother,” is what he eventually settles on. It isn’t entirely true. And it is decidedly not what he wanted to say. But something about Margaery’s certain stare had broken him.

                Sansa’s eyes go wider and her cheeks go redder, though she no longer looks like she wants to cry.

                “So there’s that,” he finishes, before turning on his heel and heading back for the party.

                He does not tell Robb about Sansa. And he manages to stick to a two-drink limit, though it’s only because he’s thinking too much to be interested in drinking.

                The drive home is delightful for Theon, because Robb keeps glancing at a petrified Sansa and looking concerned. When they arrive home, Sansa bolts from the car. Theon waves off Robb’s worry. When Robb is in the shower, Sansa comes into his room without knocking and Theon stares blankly at her from the computer chair.

                “Are you telling him?”

                “I guess not.”

                “Does he know you told me?”

                “Nope.”

                “Are you really…?”

                “Kind of.”

                Sansa looks him up and down, considering. She still seems a little bit disgusted, which is how she usually looks when talking to him.

                “I guess it makes sense,” she says. Theon thinks of it as a small victory.

                Robb comes through the door in a towel, having expected to come back to just Theon.

                The Stark siblings turn a matching shade of bright red, which in turn matches their hair.

                Sansa scuttles out of the door while Robb frantically grabs for his quilt to further cover himself.

                Theon laughs until he can’t breathe, even after Robb starts hitting him with a pillow.

                “At least you weren’t naked,” Theon says, when he can finally breathe again. Robb has pulled pajama pants on, and glares at him before tugging a shirt on as well.

                “I wasn’t saying I didn’t appreciate the idea,” Theon chides. Robb refuses to play along, and instead asks him why Sansa was in here in the first place. Theon jokes that he wants to fuck a matching set, and this time Robb’s glare is actually a bit frightening.

                “It was nothing. She wanted to make sure we didn’t get you the same thing for Christmas.”

                “Oh. Bad timing, though,” Robb says, relieved.

                Theon moves to grab the bottom hem of Robb’s shirt.

                “Very bad timing. I like how you look when you’re wet.”

                “…You’ve only used that line on women before, haven’t you?”

                “Yeah. It’s not as funny without the double entendre.”

                “Have you ever actually done anything? With another guy?”

                “No. I mean, kind of. Not really.”

                “Kind-of-not-really?” Robb repeats, wanting a better explanation.

                “I mean, a hand job is a lot like masturbating.”

                Robb turns a bit red.

                “Yeah, I suppose.”

                “And I’m pretty sure anyone who’s ever had a popsicle knows how to give head.”

                “You bite your popsicles,” Robb protests. It’s bothered Robb for years, in the way that it bothers everyone who doesn’t bite popsicles.

                “I wouldn’t bite you,” Theon assures him. He’s slightly thrilled when Robb glances at his mouth.

                “You’d be a pretty shitty boyfriend.”

                “I _am_ a pretty shitty boyfriend.”

                Robb perks up and raises an eyebrow in question. Theon shrugs back at him and half-smiles. Robb grins and Theon actually smiles before looking down, slightly embarrassed.

                “I’ve always loved popsicles,” Robb states.

                “I’m pretty sure one of your family members is bound to walk in if you try giving me head,” Theon responds. Robb hushes him, because Robb is hyper aware of Theon’s vulgarity whenever the other Starks are near.

                “My door locks.”

                “And to be honest, something about you sucking me off in a room we used to play pirates in really freaks me out,” Theon jokes. Robb hushes him again before glancing at the door.

                “It’s a month before we go back to school.”

                “And like, two weeks before we go to New York,” Theon reminds him. Robb beams.

                “Also I think we’d really screw with Jon’s head,” Theon continues, gesturing to the right, where a door actually links the two rooms.

                “I think Jon’s kind of accepted it,” Robb shrugs, though he does watch the door for a few moments.

                “Yeah. Sansa, too.”

                Robb whips his head around to look at Theon, who shrugs helplessly.

                “Okay. Sansa, too,” Robb says, though he sounds slightly afraid.

                “She’s kind of fine with it. Even if it’s me.”

                “Why does she know?”

                “Margaery.”

                Robb accepts this without question, because the Tyrells always know more than they should.

                “I have to tell my family eventually,” Robb mutters. Theon asks him to kindly not do so during his stay. And seeing as they’re both in the Stark household until the end of Winter Break, Robb needs to wait at least a month.

                “You ever going to tell your family?” Robb asks, much later, when they’re watching A Christmas Carol.

                “Asha’s always known. My father kicked me out.”

                “You told them before you told me.”

                “To be fair, it was a whole different kind of rejection to worry about with you.”

                Robb goes quiet for a few minutes.

                “It’ll be different for you. The worst will be your mother moaning about grandchildren. If that. She’ll probably just wait it out until you’re seeing a girl again”

                “She’ll have Sansa,” Robb responds, blatantly ignoring Theon’s fatalistic prediction.

                Theon bites his tongue and nods along with Robb.

                “You both blush the same color, you know. It’s funny.”

                “I’m sure it’s hilarious.”

                “You could try coming out of the shower again.”

                Robb tries pushing him off the bed until Theon climbs on top of him.

                “You think the hotel will have a pool?” Theon asks, and Robb groans softly.

                “Don’t tease. Two weeks is a very long time.”

                “Two very fun weeks.”

                “You’re the one who’s used to having sex all the time. How the hell are you not the one going crazy?”

                “I’ve been waiting longer,” Theon answers, with a surprisingly sad smile. Robb kisses him until his smile changes.

                


	15. Nipples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Theon has an appointment at the Tattoo&Piercing shop

                Robb finds a business card for the local tattoo and piercing parlor in his room. It has tomorrow’s date, December 23rd, and 4:30 pm scrawled across the back.

                Theon must have an appointment. Which he hasn’t mentioned to Robb. Theon left to walk to the nearby convenience store a few minutes ago, so Robb sits in his room alone and tries to puzzle out what the hell Theon’s going to put on his body.

                When Theon returns, he’s got a bag of gummy bears and nachos. Robb starts to scold him for smelling so much like pot when they’re at Robb’s parents’ house, but is easily bought off when Theon tosses a package of Reese’s Cups at him.

                Robb opens the wrapper while nodding his head towards his desk.

                “Tattoo?”

                “Hm? Oh. No. I’m getting my nipples pierced.”

                Robb drops the peanut butter cup.

                “No, you’re not.”

                “Yes, I am. I have an appointment and everything.”

                Robb leans down to retrieve his peanut butter cup while shaking his head.

                “Don’t. Don’t do that.”

                “What, you’d prefer something else?”

                “Anything.”       

                “I could get my dick pierced,” Theon offers. Robb winces and shakes his head again. Theon laughs and pops a gummy bear in his mouth.

                “Do.  Not. Do. That.”

                “Nipples, then. It’s settled.”

                “Tell me what you’re actually getting done,” Robb sighs. Theon grins and shakes his head before gesturing to his chest.

                “My nipples.”

                “There has to be a better option,” Robb pleads. He’s always been hesitant about piercings, though, and Theon is positive he wouldn’t be too happy about any of them.

                “Labret.”

                “No.”

                “Eyebrow. Nose. Septum,” Theon lists.

                “No. No. Really no.”

                “Navel. I’d look great with a belly button piercing.”

                “Hilarious,” Robb deadpans.

                “Tongue.”

                “…Well they do say that’s supposed to feel particularly nice.”

                “You know who says that?” Theon asks.

                “…Everyone with a tongue piercing.”

                “And isn’t that suspicious?” Theon jokes. He then rambles for a bit about how anyone with a tongue piercing is damn determined to bring up blow jobs whenever possible. Robb tries to steer the topic back to Theon. He fails.

                “Anyway,” Theon finally says, “I’m piercing my nipples.”

                “I won’t touch them,” Robb huffs and Theon laughs before eating a handful of nachos.

                “Bullshit. You will eventually. I can be very convincing. And you’ve been chomping at the bit, so, yeah, I think you would.”

                “Never,” Robb says solemnly.

                “You’ve always really hated piercings. You wouldn’t agree to any. And it’s not exactly your choice.”

                “Well, no. It’s not my choice. But I’m not touching them.”

                “Baby.”

                Later, Theon showers and returns to the room in a towel. Robb stares pointedly at his nipples until Theon laughs.

                “Tomorrow. 4:30. Remember them as they were,” Theon mocks before heading to grab a pair of boxers from his bag. Robb’s eyes follow him and he smirks. He gets his boxers and pants on before Robb crosses the room to wrap his arms around him from behind.

                “Weird how we’ve changed in front of each other so many times and only now is it…you know?” Robb asks.

                “Speak for yourself,” Theon mutters. Robb slips one hand up along his chest and brushes a thumb over his left nipple.

                “Never again. Only tonight.”

                “Well you ought to make it worthwhile, then,” Theon smirks, turning his head to the side and leaning back to kiss Robb’s jaw. He shifts until he can kiss along Robb’s neck, and in response Robb closes his eyes and breathes deeply. Theon smirks again, this time against his neck.

                “We’ve been touching for ten seconds and you’re already resorting to breathing tricks. That’s adorable.”

                Robb’s eyes open to glare at him. Theon smiles softly and most of the anger fades out of Robb’s expression.

                “Hey, come to think of it, if you won’t touch my nipples, you can spend more time touching my cock.”

                Robb glances towards the door before glaring at him again, this time with an added hush. Then he pulls away to quietly lock both the door leading to the hallway and the door connecting his room to Jon’s. Theon sits on the edge of his bed and Robb moves to push him down.

                Theon, stubborn as always, refuses to be pushed down and Robb deadpans before trying to push him over again.

                “I am not sitting in your lap.”

                “If you’re this picky now, I can’t wait until we’re arguing about who fucks who.”

                Robb relents and straddles his lap, knees on either side of Theon’s body. Theon smiles and finally lies back, tugging Robb with him. He tries not to laugh when Robb resumes his deep breathing.

                “It’s not like I’m going to run if you get hard. I figure we have to get used to it,” Theon mutters, which makes Robb blush but is also somewhat reassuring.

                “It’s weird. How you still act the same,” Robb says, moving to rest his forehead against Theon’s.

                “Am I supposed to call you darling and never curse?”

                “No. I just think it’s nice. How similar it is to when we weren’t fooling around.”

                “Friends with benefits, more or less,” Theon says. Though, he sounds almost disappointed.

                “That’s not what I said. And not what I meant.”

                “Pretty much, though.”

                “No. It’s different,” Robb says, before leaning in to kiss along his collarbone.

                There’s a small rattling noise and a thud as the door between his and Jon’s room shifts but remains closed. Then they hear Jon curse under his breath.

                “Oh, gross,” he says, softly, but Theon and Robb both hear him. Theon tries to laugh as quietly as possible. Robb lightly shoves Theon’s shoulder into the mattress.

                “Ass. It’s not funny.”

                “It’s kind of funny.”

                The next evening, Theon arrives home from the tattoo parlor as dinner is served. Robb stares at Theon’s covered chest for most of the meal, which both Sansa and Jon seem to notice, to their confused horror. Theon grins through the entire meal and is happy to compliment Cat’s cooking. He eats slowly. He helps with the dishes. He even wipes down the table.

                He then insists on watching a holiday movie with the rest of the Starks.

                Eventually, they do make it back to Robb’s room, where he gestures to Theon’s shirt.

                Theon beams before pulling up his shirt to reveal nipple piercings.

                Robb makes a slightly disgusted noise.

                He makes a much louder, annoyed noise when Theon removes the two fake piercings.

                After Theon is done laughing at his own practical joke, he turns to show Robb his back, which has the outline work of a rather large tattoo of a kraken fighting a whale on it.

                “It’s going to take a lot of appointments. But I like it.”

                Robb is quiet, and Theon frowns before looking over his shoulder.

                “I much prefer this,” Robb finally answers, reaching to lightly brush his fingers over one of the lines.

                “It still hurts, you know. Don’t touch it.”

                “Won’t get to look at it unless I’m behind you,” Robb chides.

                “Oh, like you wouldn’t be sentimental enough to want me on my back,” Theon scoffs back. Robb doesn’t protest.

                “Besides. Like hell are we doing it your way.”

                “And who’s being stubborn now?”

                They half-heartedly argue for a while before lying down to watch yet another holiday movie. This time, it’s Nightmare Before Christmas. Robb is tempted to invite Jon in, because of his fondness for Tim Burton movies. He changes his mind when Theon shifts to rest his head on his shoulder.

                “Tell me when it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

                “I don’t know why you want to touch it so badly. It’s just skin.”

                “Pretty good reason in and of itself.”

                “Sentimental.”

                “I know.”

               

 


	16. Of Course There's a Christmas Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried hard to think of gifts no one else has used in Throbb fic yet.  
> DID I DO GOOD?

“Jon always gets you a better present than I do,” Theon says, shortly after they wake up on Christmas Eve. It’s decidedly off topic, as they had been betting on whether or not it was going to snow. Robb smiles slightly and shakes his head.

“That’s not true. You give good gifts. Sometimes really stupid. But always sweet. In your kind of way.”

“His always make you smile.”

It’s something he’s never brought up before today. But it’s bothered him since Robb’s 8th birthday party, when Jon had begun his winning streak.

“Yours make me smile,” Robb protests, still a bit groggy as well as fond.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t like his better. Even when mine costs ten times as much. Or when I think I know you well enough that I _must_ have picked the best present. And he always shows up with something better. I’d love to know how he does it. Pissed me off even when I was ten.”

Robb thinks that this Theon is the one nobody else ever notices. Jon would think Theon was simply annoyed that he wasn’t winning. Robb’s aware that Theon’s always trying to win affection, though, and not just to win some pointless competition. Though, he tends to do a wonderful job of coming across as shallow and selfish.

Robb thinks that if Theon wasn’t so proud, he’d be well-loved.

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever you get me. I always do. Honestly.”

Theon shrugs and sits up, tossing one of the blankets onto the air mattress on the floor. They’ve kept up the illusion that he sleeps on it, with Theon only moving to share Robb’s bed after the household is asleep. Robb sets an alarm for early enough in the morning that Theon can move down onto the floor before Catelyn pops her head in to alert them of breakfast. Theon still spends at least half of the nights on the air mattress, because despite Robb’s protests, he’s still flighty about their relationship.  

“Besides,” Robb assures him, “I doubt you’ll really like what I got you.”

“What? Why, what is it?”

“It’s not Christmas yet.”

“I won’t be here for Christmas. I’ll leave in a few hours. Come back on the 26th.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll stay with Asha. It’s still a shitty time, but I’d rather not stick around for the Tully-Stark Christmas Eve.”

“Jon’s never around for Christmas Eve anymore, either.”

“It’s the one time we ever get along. I know,” Theon says, moving down onto the air mattress.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to go home anymore,” Robb murmurs, softly, as though he feels guilty saying it.

“Asha has her own place. And us Greyjoys have never been big on family holidays. We aren’t exchanging gifts or anything. She probably won’t be there, for the most part. It’s just a place to stay.”

Robb stands up to shuffle through his desk until he pulls out an envelope and a wrapped box before sitting on his bed again.

“Gifts now, then. I’d make you wait until Christmas to open it but it kind of needs an explanation. And you wouldn’t listen anyway.”

“Yeah, no. I love opening gifts early.”

Robb tosses the box to him, which Theon starts unwrapping roughly.

“That part’s just because I hate not giving an actual object.”

Theon’s smiling, looking down at the sculpture in his hands. It’s a cuttlefish about the size of his palm.

“This is a cuttlefish, actually. Not a squid.”

“I know. You’re a Marine Biology major. I’ve picked some things up. You’ve got enough squids.”

Then Theon’s nodding his head to the envelope Robb is still holding.

“Yeah. We’re getting to it. Awfully greedy. You’re supposed to say thank you about the cuttlefish.”

“Thank you for the cuttlefish, Robb,” Theon mocks, moving off the air mattress to kneel in front of him. Robb glances down at him and raises both eyebrows before shifting his knees slightly.

“I’m not offering anything, I was going to pretend to beg. Though I’m guessing your brother’s never given you head for a present.”

Robb nudges him away with his knee, scoffing.

“This is getting ridiculous. Let me have it. And then you can have yours,” Theon negotiates. Robb hands him the envelope, though Theon has to tug it free from his hand. 

When he opens it, he wrinkles his nose and looks up at Robb.

“What?” Theon asks flatly.

“Trail riding,” Robb responds while fidgeting, “When you were very drunk once you told me that you actually really love horses. And that you never bothered trying to get your dad to bring you to lessons. And I’m sure you’re sick of getting aquarium passes, so I just thought…”

“I told you I liked horses?”

“Do you not?”

“No. I do, I just…I had no fucking clue anyone knew about that. Not even you.”

“Well, technically Jon knows too. He was there. Doesn’t know about the gift, though.”

Theon looks back down at the paper in his hands, much happier now. He’s shaking his head, but he’s smiling.

“We aren’t telling anyone. A bit too ‘Brokeback Mountain’, honestly.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” Robb groans.

“I hope they have black ones,” Theon mutters while he’s turning to fetch Robb’s gift. It’s reassurance enough that he does enjoy the present, and Robb relaxes.

He pulls out a very long box, and Robb tilts his head slightly when he tries to puzzle out what it is. Theon rolls his eyes, but by now he’s used to Robb’s lengthy process of present opening. Robb takes the box and turns it around in his hands for a bit, though he’s still unable to guess what it is. Theon protests when Robb starts searching for the tape, because he loathes Robb’s obsession with keeping wrapping paper intact.

When he finally does open the box, it’s a sword. An old sword. And used.

“It’s an antique I found in one of those shops down by school. World War One. They had it verified and everything. It’s what the paper says,” Theon explains.

Robb’s staring into the box and hasn’t touched the sword. He’s not smiling.

“Because you’re really into history. So I thought you would like it,” Theon continues.

Robb very lightly touches the blade before putting the top back on the box and shifting it off of his lap. Theon watches him, in disbelief.

“Theon.”

“See I told you. I always think you’ll like mine best. Oh well. I should head out before your crazy aunt gets here,” he huffs, laughing slightly but still sounding annoyed as he stands to grab his things.  

Robb lurches to grab him by the collar of his shirt and Theon winces instinctually.

“You have no fucking idea how awesome that is,” Robb tells him. In all honesty, swearing is enough to make Theon believe him.

“I still think it’s a stupid sword, actually,” Theon says.

“You win. You totally fucking win,” Robb continues, pulling on his collar hard enough to tug Theon downwards. They crash onto the bed, with Robb holding him in a vice of a hug. Theon argues that he’d prefer tongue kissing, but Robb squeezes him tighter with the giddy excitement usually only seen in the younger Starks.

Robb pulls away to go back to looking at his present in awe and Theon’s content to watch him until they’re called down for breakfast. Robb insists on showing all of the Starks. Catelyn is slightly concerned and warns him to keep it away from his younger brothers. Ned spends a few minutes observing it before smiling and giving it back to his son. Arya, Bran, and Rickon are all excited, though they think it must have belonged to a knight and refuse to believe anyone in World War One would have had a sword. Sansa catches Theon’s attention to smile at him, which is both embarrassing and nice. He’s certain that when she grabs a picture with her phone, she’s sending it to Margaery.

After breakfast, Theon collects his things. On the way back down the stairs, he runs into Jon, who looks amused.

“Well done, Greyjoy. Seriously. He loves that thing.”

They don’t see each other again until the 26th, as promised. Christmas with Asha is uneventful and unemotional. But Robb texts him at least four times to thank him, and Theon’s never had a better Christmas. 


	17. Not Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loads of swearing in this chapter.

Robb finds Theon on the playground of their old elementary school after having received four drunken texts talking about breaking up.

He’s in the small wooden box at the top of the slide. Robb climbs the ladder to join him before cursing and heading back to his car to fetch a coat for Theon, who is in a t-shirt.

When he climbs up again, Theon still won’t look at him. He tosses the jacket onto Theon’s lap and reaches for the bottle of whiskey, but Theon holds it away from him. Robb sighs and runs a hand over his face. Theon looks at him out of the corner of his eye, but his expression remains neutral.

“Put on the jacket, at least.”

Almost a full minute passes before Theon relents and tugs the jacket on, swaying slightly.

“Alright. Let’s go home. And be quiet, Rickon and Bran will be sleeping by now.”

“I broke up with you,” Theon says.

“So you did. We could talk in the car. Or back home. Or not at all, if you want.”

Theon laughs and takes a swig from the bottle while Robb watches and tenses his jaw.

“That’s my father’s. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Theon answers. He laughs again and sets the bottle between his thighs.

“Let’s talk in the car.”

“What, are you cold?” Theon taunts. Robb looks away from him and clenches his jaw again.

“How long were you out here?”

Theon gestures to the level of whiskey in the bottle.

“This long.”

“Come on, the heater is on in the car,” Robb offers.

“I’m plenty warm.”

“Drinking does that to you. Makes you hypothermic, though.”

Theon rolls his eyes and takes another drink. He smirks with his mouth against the bottle when he notices Robb stop himself from reaching for it.

“Bet I could make you hit me. Finally.”

                “Right, because I’m sure that’s what you want,” Robb scowls. Theon’s done this to Jon for years, but he usually doesn’t try to provoke Robb.

                Theon shrugs at him and looks down the slide.

                “There are gloves in the pockets,” Robb says, relenting. Theon doesn’t move to put them on, but instead runs a hand under his nose with a sniffle.

                “How the hell did you know I’d be here? I didn’t tell you. And it’s not like I told anyone else.”

                “You used to hide up here. In high school. When your dad would hit you and you didn’t want to come to me. You used to park your car out in the lot. And I went looking once and found it. But I figured you’d rather be alone, so I let you be,” Robb explains. He’s upset enough that he sounds angry, though he’s trying to be calm. It makes Theon smile.

                “Couldn’t just leave it be this time too?”

                “It’s 9 degrees out. You’ve been drinking. No, I’m not going to let you sit out here for hours.”

                “You going to force me to move?” Theon challenges. Robb stares back at him, features flitting between anger and concern.

                “No. I could. But I won’t.”

                “Right. You hate it when you scare me. You hate it when you move too fast. Or when I make you angry. When you remind me of daddy dearest.”

                “You’re really not being fair,” Robb says, tucking his hands into his pockets.

                “Oh, fuck you, Stark. You have no idea about ‘not fair’. Your life has never been anything but fair.”

                “Really sweet of you, Theon.”

                “Not fair is my father refusing to see me anymore. Even when I literally show up on his doorstep. That’s not fair,” Theon hisses.

                “Is that where you went? Is that what this is about?”

                Theon looks at him like he’s insane, then laughs and takes another drink.

                “Not fair is all of these fucking people who think Robb Stark is a perfect person. Not fair is all of your fucking family loves you, and mine doesn’t give a shit. Not fair is that you’re the kind of person who makes people smile or take a fucking bullet for them. And no one ever smiles for me. I think my father would rather put a bullet _in_ me than smile at me. You know that?”

                “Come off it, Theon,” Robb warns.

                “Not fair is you suddenly deciding that I’m worth fucking. Because that means you won’t give up until we’re really, truly fucking dating. And that means we’re going to break up someday. And that’s fine and fucking dandy for you. But what the hell am I supposed to do, huh? Not fair is that you are the only person who gives a shit about me and you’ve decided to put that on the line because suddenly you want to pity fuck me. Or you think it’s flattering that I want you.”

                “Theon.”

                “No. Nu-uh. You’re going to keep your mouth shut for once. It is _not fair_ to dangle this in front of me. To just…suddenly want me because you’re bored or lonely or because it makes you feel good to have someone who thinks you’re the real fucking sun. You are my only fucking friend. When this falls apart, you’re fine. But what do I have?”

                Robb’s looking at the whiskey bottle, shoulders hunched defensively, but he stays silent.

                “My father won’t even look at me. And my sister only looks at me with pity. Your family fucking hates me. They always have. It’s just you, Robb. It’s always been you. And now you’ve fucking taken that away. That’s what ‘not fair’ is. Not fair is that I’ve been half in love with you since you were thirteen, and you’re going to throw me away for a chance to fuck around for a while.”

                “I’m not. I’m never throwing you away,” Robb protests. Theon scowls and turns away.

                “No. Theon. You’re the one who never listens. Not me. You do this all the time because you refuse to talk about anything when you’re sober. Because you’re so scared. About everything. I know that, I do, because every time you get wasted you tell me how scared you are that I don’t give a shit about you. You really think that’s true, don’t you?”

                “You give a shit,” Theon scoffs, “Just not as much as I do. You’ve got everyone. I’ve got…you.”

                “And somehow you think that means I can’t care about you as much as you care about me?”

                “You can’t. You’ve got all these other people. If I fucked off and died already, you’d be fine. You’d get over it. I could never get over you. That’s not fair,” Theon says, trailing off and wiping at his mouth.

                “I would not be fine,” Robb snaps, “You’re my best friend. All those memories you have, I have too. You’ve been my best friend for ten years. Even though you…love doing this. Not fair is you trying to hide everything from me when I’m worried about you, which you’ve done since we were kids. Not fair is you laughing about everything because you think it’s the only way to stop feeling shitty and it means you don’t have to talk about it or try to get better. Not fair is you getting drunk to hurt me because you’re hurting.”

                Theon scoffs again, annoyed.

                “You’re the one who isn’t fair to yourself. You know that. Not fair is you refusing to believe that I care about you just as much. Yeah, I do have it better than you. That’s not my fault, Theon. And I’m sorry. I am. Even when you don’t want me to be, I am genuinely sorry. But you aren’t exactly fair to me, either.”

                “I’ve wanted you since you were thirteen. Why the fuck do you only want me now?” Theon asks. All of the fight is gone from his voice, and he sounds defeated.

                “Because you do half the shit you do to make me smile and because I realized you do the other shit you do because you’re trying to see if you can make me leave. And that’s really sad. And really sweet.”

                Theon barks out a laugh.

                “Yeah, that’s sweet, Stark. I meant what made you realize that.”

                “Because you said my name when you were fucking Margaery Tyrell,” Robb tells him, blunt and forward as ever.

                “Thin walls,” Theon laughs. It turns into crying. Robb manages to get the bottle away from him and to lead him down the ladder and back to his car.

                “I’m not breaking up with you,” Theon says after they’ve sat in silence for five minutes, “I couldn’t really. I could never.”

                “I’m sorry about your father.”

                “Yeah. Me too.”

                “I’m not leaving. Even if we do break up. Even if it’s a nasty break up. I’m always going to be here to care about you.”

                “You’re the only one.”

                “I don’t have to be. If you let anyone else know you like I do, they’d care too.”

                “No. You’re the only one I want to know me. Like this. I don’t even want to know me like this.”

                Later, they’re curled up on Robb’s bed, lying in the dark. Theon still smells like whiskey and Robb’s heart aches every time he smells it.

                “I’m sorry, Robb. I promise. I am. I’ll let you help me.”

                “You always say that.”

                “I know.

                Theon wants to say that he loves him. That he isn’t ‘half in love’ with him. But he’s not drunk enough anymore and he knows Robb won’t say it back. He thinks it’s the most unfair thing yet, but he realizes it would be just as unfair to Robb to say it now.

                “So help me.”

                “I will.”


	18. Hangover

Theon is hungover the next morning, of course. Badly enough that Robb passes on taking the younger Starks sledding in favor of taking care of him. Theon is nauseous and does not want to move or speak, so Robb keeps the lights off and doesn’t talk much either.

Theon throws up four times before he feels good enough to stand up and go brush his teeth. He slumps back onto the bed and glances at Robb.

“You need painkillers? More water?”

He shakes his head and reaches a hand out to just barely touch Robb’s hand. Robb raises an eyebrow but doesn’t move away.

“Made it through our first fight, huh?” Theon asks. It’s meant to sound like a joke, but his voice is raspy and dry, so it sounds more pitiful than amused.

“Yeah. Not the first of many, I hope.”

“I told you I’ll get better.”

“I know,” Robb sighs. He’s pretty obviously still upset, which makes guilt curl in Theon’s stomach. Robb’s disapproval is the worst feeling he knows. He balls up a fistful of blankets with his free hand and sighs as well.

“I’d do AA, but I’m not exactly into the whole god aspect.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“No. You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Theon admits.

He rolls over and winces when it makes his vision spin.

“I didn’t know we’d still be fighting,” he mumbles. Robb sighs but moves to run his fingers through Theon’s hair.

“I can’t help being upset.”

“Sucks. I like it better when you forgive me by the next morning.”

“I have forgiven you. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy.”

“I really am a shitty friend, huh? Jon’s always been right. Makes me an even shittier boyfriend. Kind of emotionally abusive if I keep telling you I’ll change and never do. Runs in the family,” Theon says, talking mostly into the mattress.

“You keep trying to hurt yourself. Not me.”

“Oh, come on now. If anyone’s going to cut their arms up, it’s your brother,” Theon sneers. Robb pulls his hand away from Theon’s hair and frowns.

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t always hurting yourself.”

“On the brightside, if I ever did kill myself I’d never have to see you die, yeah?”

“Don’t talk like that,” Robb says, soft but stern.

“I’d much rather die first,” Theon continues, ignoring his protest.

“It won’t be for a long time. Decades,” Robb insists. Theon smiles as though Robb is being genuinely funny.

“Two kinds of people die young, Robb. People like you and people like me. I just hope it’s me before you.”

Robb’s getting worried, and he tugs on Theon’s shoulder until he gives in and curls up with his head against Robb’s chest.

“And what kind of people are we?”

“People like you. The ones they write all the books and songs about. Burn bright until they burn out. Die young. People who burn like roman candles. You must know the quote.”

“It’s Kerouac. And you?”

“People who start off burnt out,” Theon mutters.

“Neither of us are going to die young. Okay?”

“You’ll die saving a baby from a fire.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Or shot in the line of duty.”

“I’m not going to be a cop.”

“Or you’ll die in a car crash. Something beautiful, in a really morbid way.”

“Stop.”

“And me they’d find on the side of the road or in an alley. Something equally fitting, but in a statistics kind of way. Not the poetry kind of way.”

“You’re not going to die, Theon. And I’m not going to die.”

“You’re bound to. Because it’s just too perfect for it to not happen.”

                “You should probably see a counsellor,” Robb tells him. Theon shuts down, goes quiet, and tenses slightly. Robb curls his body around him.  

                “I’m still drunk, is all,” Theon says, finally.

                “I’d write about you. I’m not good at it. But I could. I think you’re worth writing about.”

                “That sounds really fucking stupid, Stark.”

                “Going to a counsellor isn’t a bad thing.”

                “It’s not happening.”

                “You could go for me. Just once.”

                “That’s manipulative,” Theon scowls. Robb realizes Theon is just trying to avoid embarrassment, though now he feels guilty as well. He leans in to kiss Theon’s forehead, which makes him wrinkle it.  He kisses his nose, which makes Theon roll his eyes. Robb laughs softly and shakes his head.

                “I’m not going to pester you about it. Come on. We’re making up.”

                “Can’t have makeup sex if we still haven’t fucked.”

                “We’re alone in the house.”

                “And I’m still hung over. I think you’re sensitive enough that you’d be upset if I puked while screwing you.”

“We don’t have to have sex to make up,” Robb reminds him, “We usually just do it by playing Left 4 Dead for a while.”

“Nah. I don’t really feel up to moving,” Theon sighs, breath warm on Robb’s neck.

“When you’re feeling better, then. We’ll kill some zombies. Fool around a little,” Robb offers.

“It’s nice. Dating you.”

“This isn’t exactly how my relationships usually are.”

“Shittier, isn’t it?”

“No. Could be my best one. If you’d stop trying to call it off. I’m sure sleeping with your best friend is actually very satisfying.”

“A lot more video games. Wrestling. And I already know all of your embarrassing childhood stories.”

Robb smiles and for a while Theon isn’t worried. 


	19. New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean,there's technically a sex scene, but it's accurate in that it's not a particularly sexy one

They take the 10 AM train into New York City, and it’s packed tight with people. They find two seats relatively near each other and try talking. Theon is turned around completely in his seat so he can look at Robb, who’s in the middle of a row behind him. Eventually, a businesswoman sighs and stands, gesturing for Theon to switch with her. Robb politely thanks her while Theon tugs his sleeves over his hands and refuses to look at her while they change seats. When he sits, Robb whispers that he’s being rude, which he ignores.

After about an hour, Robb shifts in his seat to put headphones in. When he settles again, he reaches for Theon’s hand. Theon tugs his hand away to put his own headphones in, while Robb stares at him. Theon eventually settles again, though he’s holding his phone in the hand closest to Robb, who shakes his head and goes back to using his own phone.

Theon’s phone buzzes with a text from Robb, who still isn’t looking at him.

 _No one we know is here and none of these people would care_.

Theon doesn’t text him back. And then he tries to ignore Robb’s hand, which is now sitting upturned on his thigh. Robb isn’t watching him, but he’s waiting, which makes Theon tenser and tenser as a minute ticks by. Then Robb pulls his hand away, without glancing at him. It feels like a kick to the spine, and Theon shifts to edge an arm between Robb and the metro seat. Robb finally looks at him, happy and slightly smug. Theon mouths “baby” and Robb leans back roughly to squish his forearm against the seat in retaliation.

Another hour passes, with Robb getting progressively antsier. The anticipation is killing him, as he admitted earlier this morning, with his mouth up against Theon’s jaw. Shortly after, Catelyn called them to breakfast and then drove them to the train station. Theon takes the opportunity to text him increasingly teasing texts.

_It’s just another hour. Or two._

_Then the walk to the hotel room._

_And checking in._

_Then maybe we should get food._

_Get a spot in Times Square._

_Probably get back really late and go to sleep._

_You know._

Robb shoots him a dirty look and Theon starts laughing. The look gets dirtier and Theon laughs loudly enough to draw attention to themselves. Robb starts to text him back, and he expects to be scolded. Instead, he gets a picture message of a shirtless Robb taken this past summer at the beach. Theon’s eyebrows both raise in surprise and Robb smiles in a just slightly devious way.

“You arrogant little shit,” Theon says, which startles Robb and sends them both into a fit of muffled laughter. They settle down, but then make eye contact and start laughing again. By this point, the nearby passengers are annoyed but they’re both too delighted to care.

Robb checks into the hotel, and for once actually seems frustrated that the person behind the counter is new and a bit incapable. Usually, Robb loves reassuring new workers that he isn’t in a rush. It’s amusing, in a weird way, and Theon looks around the lobby before reaching to grab Robb’s thigh. Robb’s knee gives out a little, and he stumbles before catching himself and staring at Theon with a challenge in his eyes.

They make it to the little elevator, bags and all. The doors slide closed and they glance at each other, giddy excitement bubbling up. Theon trips getting out of the elevator, and Robb laughs despite his effort not to. Theon tugs on Robb’s duffel bag to pull him down as well and they turn into a tittering mess on the hallway floor. A couple walks by, looking simultaneously amused and disgusted by what they assume are drunken shenanigans at 2 PM.

They stand up again and half chase each other down the hallway to their room. Robb fumbles with the key card before sliding it into the door. The light blinks red and he tries again. And again. And again. Theon reaches around him to try unlocking the door. He slides the card more slowly, the little light blinks green, and Robb throws open the door before they go tripping and stumbling into the room.

Robb has always been strong, which makes manhandling Theon away from the door and onto the bed very easy. Theon’s disoriented and a bit huffy about being picked up, though he doesn’t have time to protest before Robb grinds against him.

“Dry humping? What are we, sixteen?” Theon teases, between nearly silent gasps. Robb mumbles a vague response, and doesn’t actually seem to be listening. Theon smiles slightly, fondly. He tries to sit up and Robb makes a wounded noise in disappointment.

“Easy, kid,” Theon murmurs with a laugh, “You’ll come before I touch you.”

Robb turns slightly red and Theon ruffles his hair a bit.

“On the brightside, I figure it’ll really slow you down when there’s no easy hole.”

Robb huffs and reaches for one of the pillows to jokingly smother him.

“I don’t want it to be awkward,” Robb protests.

“Mm. It’s going to be awkward, I think,” Theon warns, face still under the pillow. He removes it and they adjust until they’re both sitting. He leans in to press their foreheads together and shrug.

“You’re supposed to make it easy. You always do. You’ve always been more experienced. Like a big brother,” Robb continues.

Theon makes a face and pulls away and they both stare at each other.

“Okay, yeah. I won’t call you that. Ever again.”

Theon nods in agreement before leaning in again. He kisses Robb, who hums slightly and tries to push him back down. Instead, Theon trails a hand down to undo Robb’s pants, and Robb goes very still.

“Funny. How you think I’ve always taken care of you,” Theon mutters. Robb wants to argue that it’s true, but then Theon’s hand is lightly around his cock and he isn’t in any mental state to be arguing.

“Weird,” Theon whispers, lips pressed to Robb’s shoulder through his t-shirt. But he’s doing a fine-enough job of running his hand up and down Robb’s cock, and his lack of finesse isn’t important. Robb whines, very softly, and Theon grins because he remembers that noise coming through their shared wall back at school. He mutters this, hand still pumping, and Robb whines again, moving his hand to grab Theon’s wrist.

Theon pauses, thinking he’s being stopped, but then Robb threatens him with a strained “ _Don’t you dare”_ and he resumes the movement of his hand. A small part of him is thinking in overtime.

_Not too tight. Not too loose. Not too fast. Not too rough. Am I supposed to touch his balls? Sometimes girls do that. Sometimes I do that getting myself off. Should I?  It’s hard to jerk someone off when he still has pants on. Fuck, his zipper is kind of scratching my wrist._

Then Robb moans. Softly, but it’s enough to call his attention to Robb’s expression.

 _Oh fuck, he looks good. I_ like _getting him off._

_Oh fuck, I really do love him._

                Too late, he realizes that Robb calling his name was meant to be a warning and not an exclamation of pleasure. Theon pulls his hand back, now covered in cum. There’s a beat of silence before they both start laughing. Robb’s laugh sounds even better now that he’s been pleasured, Theon thinks. The affection doesn’t stop him from cleaning his hand off on Robb’s jeans, much to Robb’s chagrin.

                “Not bad,” Robb teases, moving to lick his way into Theon’s mouth. He seems much looser and happier now that the tension is gone.

                “Think you could do better?” Theon scoffs. Robb’s competitive streak flashes in his eyes and sends a shiver up Theon’s spine.

                It’s much easier to not think when he’s on the receiving end. It’s much easier to only think _Robb_ and _yes_ and _finally_.

                They change and then move to the other bed in the hotel room when they’ve finished, happy to avoid cleanup.

                “We’re not going to be able to see the ball drop. The streets are probably packed,” Theon mumbles, gesturing to the clock in the room. Robb apologizes, feeling guilty because Theon had genuinely wanted to watch the ball drop.

                “Hey. It’s fine. I preferred this to watching One Direction perform,” Theon smiles.

                “Told you. You’ve always taken care of me. You can be self-sacrificing. When it’s for me.”

                “Doesn’t count when I wanted the same thing you did.”

                “It counts,” Robb says, adamant.

                “Or maybe this was my plan the whole time,” Theon says. Robb glances at him before reaching for another pillow to smother him.

                Theon’s just ecstatic that they’ve avoided talking about what they’ve just done. They get into a half-hearted pillow fight before Robb pulls the sheets over himself and announces that he’s taking a nap until at least 8 PM.

                Theon watches him until Robb reaches out, eyes still closed, to bat his face away.

                “Can’t sleep if you’re staring.”

                Robb manages to coerce him into curling up with him, though Theon doesn’t end up falling asleep. For the next few hours, he’s simply content with not having to overthink things while Robb sleeps beside him. He traces patterns on Robb’s stomach for a good fifteen minutes when Robb suddenly speaks.

                “You drawing squids?” Robb asks, still sounding half-asleep. Theon hums in agreement and Robb smiles, eyes still closed.

                They watch the ball drop from the roof of their hotel, where a good portion of the inhabitants seem to have gathered.

                Robb does not expect Theon to let himself be kissed when the clock strikes midnight, and he’s pleasantly surprised when Theon’s the one to initiate a New Year’s kiss instead. He’s possibly more pleased when Theon whispers to him that they should go back to their room and “fuck around some more”.

                This time, they take things more slowly, though neither of them are bold enough to move past using their hands. They kiss their way through it while Theon mutters about how it would have been too cold outside anyway.

                “Happy New Year,” Robb finally remembers to say, when they’ve had enough.

                Theon starts to say something before shaking his head and smiling.

                “Yeah. You too.”

                Robb would worry, but Theon throws an arm over him, and he decides to let it go. When he wakes up, Theon’s still wrapped around him, and Robb isn’t worried about a thing. 


	20. Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I wasn't going to make this a chapter fic.   
> Here we are on chapter 20.  
> Oh.

                Robb eats peanut butter directly out of the jar. He’ll pull a spoon out of a drawer, stick it into a jar, and eat it right off the spoon. This drives Theon crazy, because it’s kind of double dipping and also because he thinks it’s gross. Worse, he thinks it’s an appropriate snack food for movie watching. It’s not. It’s peanut butter. It’s meant to be spread on something. Theon thinks it’s amazing that Robb doesn’t make himself sick off of it, even when he manages to eat his way through an entire jar while stressing over an exam. He’s particular bitter after one instance where Robb drops the peanut butter spoon onto Theon’s lap while they’re watching Zoolander. It’s made worse when Robb argues “at least it’s not like I’m interrupting a good movie”. They’re still on Winter Break and therefore still in the Stark house. The ensuing wrestling match draws attention. Arya bursts into the room and finds them still grappling with the peanut butter jar. She calls them both stupid before walking away. The brief pause gives Theon time to stick the peanut butter spoon in Robb’s hair, which takes the fighting from playful to serious in a heartbeat.

                Robb’s still angry that evening, even though he’s completely washed the peanut butter out of his hair. Matters get even worse when Rickon ‘accidentally’ sticks gum into Robb’s curls. The Stark children all go silent. Catelyn suggests using peanut butter to get it out. Theon starts laughing, which sets the rest of the Starks off. Robb stares at Theon with loathing for as long as he can manage, but eventually cracks a smile. Later, Theon runs a hand through Robb’s hair and admits he’s glad that he didn’t have to cut it. Robb puffs up like a bird, which he always does when complimented. Theon is forgiven until he mutters that Nutella is superior to peanut butter. They fall off the bed with a loud enough ‘thunk’ to make Jon sigh loudly from the other room.

                There are a lot of things they do that piss the other off.

                Theon still bites his popsicles, even though just seeing it makes Robb’s teeth hurt.

                Robb calls dubstep “robot music” despite Theon repeatedly telling him to stop.

                Robb also actively cheers and boos while watching football, which makes it impossible for Theon to ignore.

                Robb hates Theon’s refusal to get along with Jon, though he is willing to admit that on rare occasions, it’s Jon refusing to get along. Theon argues that it’s literally always Jon’s fault, and that Jon hates him whereas Theon doesn’t care at all about Jon. Even Robb’s intense deadpan does not phase Theon, who honestly is trying to blame Jon for all of their animosity. (Things have improved slightly now that Jon realizes how easy it is to hold the threat of Robb’s disappointment over Theon. It makes Theon slightly less willing to insult Jon and proves to Jon that Theon actually does give a shit about being good to Robb. However, it makes Theon want to beat the shit out of Jon, which isn’t exactly an improvement afterall.)

                Theon hates-hates-hates Robb’s insistence on participating in Family Game Night. Theon hates board games to begin with, though sometimes he’s willing to play Jenga when they’re alone.

                Theon also hates that Robb’s lucked out with the Starks. That they all adore him, even Jon and Sansa who _know_ about Theon. That everyone Robb meets seems to adore him. He hates being jealous of Robb, and has hated it since they were children.

                He also hates that Robb eats his eggs with ketchup.

                Robb hates it when Theon swears in front of his family. And he hates it when Theon refuses to put on gloves in the winter. He especially hates it when he refuses to put on socks and then tries to use Robb as a foot warmer. This habit started back in middle school, and even after all these years Theon refuses to put socks on his cold feet.

                He really hates that Theon won’t agree see a counsellor, but not as much as he hates seeing Theon when he’s drunk and depressed. Mostly, he hates it when Theon lashes out at him, despite telling himself again and again that Theon only does it because he’s trying to see if Robb will stay. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t completely blow when Theon insults him.

                Robb hates it when Theon dips his french fries into his shake. Theon makes him try it, and it isn’t awful. It’s not bad at all. But Robb still hates it, despite knowing that it isn’t as gross as it looks.

                They both hate it when Robb moving too abruptly makes Theon flinch. Robb feels guilty and then Theon feels stupid for reacting badly.

                Theon hates not being allowed to smoke in Robb’s car.

                Robb hates that Theon has a crazy ability to always ask him “Are you awake?” the moment he’s about to fall asleep.

                Robb truly hates that he can’t even jokingly tell Theon about the quirks he hates without Theon getting withdrawn and tense. He learns to word these things perfectly, settling for “God, how can you eat hot sauce on everything?” instead of anything starting with “I hate it when you-“.

                The morning after their peanut butter fight, Robb wakes up to an empty bed.

                He hates it when Theon is flighty.

                He heads down into the kitchen, slightly miffed. He almost chokes when he finds Theon and Jon, who are alone at the table. They aren’t speaking to each other, but they’ve divided the newspaper between themselves. (Theon only ever wants the comics. He hates the news. Robb never watches the news with him, because Theon laughs over the horrible stories and upsets Robb even more.)

                “Theon found peanut butter flavored coffee,” Jon says, without looking up.

                “Traitor,” Theon hisses.

                “No. I wasn’t going to tell him I found it. Man up and admit you went looking for something to apologize with,” Jon says. He yelps softly when Theon kicks him under the table.

                Robb smiles and ruffles Theon’s hair when he passes him to pour himself coffee. Jon smiles, though it comes across as a smirk, and Theon kicks him again. The kick jostles the table, spills coffee on the newspaper, and sends Theon and Jon into an argument.

                For once, Robb doesn’t hate it. 


	21. Pills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Robb breaks his leg

Eventually, Robb’s dedication to rugby backfires and he ends up in the ER with a broken leg and a concussion.

On the brightside, he no longer has to do RA rounds, which means no wandering the campus at all hours of the night searching for signs of trouble.

On the downside, Jon and Theon are fighting over who should take care of Robb when he comes home from the hospital.

Robb is exhausted after spending five hours in the ER, and is decidedly not in the mood to listen to the others argue on the ride back to campus. When Robb had ridden away in the ambulance, the other two boys had gotten along well enough to jump in the same car and follow after him. Now, however, they’re refusing to compromise with each other.

“It’s not like Theon’s responsible,” Jon sighs from the backseat.

“I live in the room next to him. I’m pretty sure I can handle going over to his room if he knocks on the fucking wall,” Theon says, rolling his eyes.

“Unless you get drunk and pass out. Which isn’t exactly unlike you.”

“I’m not going to get drunk, it’s a Tuesday.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Jon replies, deadpan.

“I can handle it. He’s got like…two pills every eight hours. That’s easy.”

“I can take care of it myself,” Robb mutters from the passenger seat, eyes closed in an attempt to lessen his headache.

“Or you can tell Theon to listen to reason,” Jon argues.

“Or you can tell your brother to kiss my ass.”

They pull into the school parking lot and Jon hops out to fetch Robb’s crutches from the trunk. Theon’s insulting Jon while Robb rubs at his temples. They pause their argument briefly to help Robb along by holding open doors. But the moment Robb’s seated on his bed, they’re back at it.

“It’s heavy medication,” Jon scowls.

“Yeah, and I’m certain I’ve had a lot more experience babysitting friends when they’re tripping than you have.”

“Which is exactly why I’m not letting you do it. You’re a lot more likely to take his Vicodin than remind _him_ to take it,” Jon finally says.

It’s enough to shut Theon up, though now the argument is much more personal. Robb winces, half from his headache and half from anticipation of a physical fight. Theon’s staring at Jon, who tilts his chin up while holding eye contact. There’s a beat of silence before Theon glances down at a very weary Robb.

“You want him to do it?” he asks.

“It really doesn’t matter. I don’t need help,” Robb mutters, though by now he’s losing the will to argue.

“Doctor said concussions can screw with your short term memory. And they do. Trust me, I’d know. Do you want him to stay with you tonight?”

“…Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Theon nods slightly at him before shrugging at Jon and heading out of the room. Robb winces again when the door shuts.

“I actually don’t think I expected that,” Jon murmurs, moving to sit at the foot of his bed.

“You’re both so damned stubborn,” Robb says, before glancing at the wall next to his bed. He had expected to hear Theon enter the room next door, and it worries him a bit when there’s nothing but silence.

“If you’d really rather have him here, that’s fine. I just worry.”

“It’s fine. He’ll get over it. Soon, I hope.”

Robb reaches for his phone and Jon moves to fetch it for him. He shoots off a text to Theon, who replies quickly. He settles down for the night, with Jon curled up at the bottom of the bed.

Two days later, Jon has had enough of dealing with Robb. He beats on Theon’s door, hands him the bottle of painkillers and gestures to Robb’s door.

“He keeps refusing to take the Vicodin. He says it doesn’t hurt that much. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

Jon heads down the hallway, still fuming. Theon smiles after him and grabs a bottle of water from his minifridge before heading next door.

Robb glances up from a textbook when he walks in and smiles faintly.

“I think Jon’s sick of me.”

“You’re not supposed to be doing schoolwork,” Theon warns, gesturing to the text.

“I know. I don’t want to fall behind.”

Theon gestures to one of the corkboards hanging in the room.

“Emergency room bracelet. That’s a memory you want to keep?”

“It’s not exactly the most fun memory. But I think it’s worth keeping. You just came to visit?”

“Haven’t seen you in a few days. I’d like to, but I really do fucking hate your brother,” Theon responds, carefully moving to straddle Robb without jostling his broken leg. Robb is a bit wary, but moves his hands to Theon’s sides.

“Or you’ve missed screwing around?”

“It’s just like you to get hurt right when we get back from living with your parents,” Theon smirks. Robb perks up slightly, leaning in to kiss him. Theon dodges and offers the water bottle instead.

“I’m supposed to make you take your painkillers.”

“I don’t need them,” Robb frowns.

“Doctor said you did.”

“I’m not in pain. I don’t need painkillers.”

“I’m sure I could get you to take them,” Theon says with a smile as he shakes two of the pills into his hand.

“This some kind of bribe? I might give in to a bribe,” Robb smiles back.

“Why else would your brother relent to asking me for help? Drink the water,” Theon insists.

Robb eyes him, but does as he’s told. Theon watches him calmly, still smiling, before leaning in slightly.

Robb smirks and goes in for the kiss.

Theon surprises him by suddenly pushing the pills into his mouth.

In one swift movement, Theon has a hand over his mouth and nose and is holding him back against the bed.

“Swallow. Swallow or suffocate.”

Robb’s wide eyed and looks utterly betrayed. He struggles slightly, but Theon has leverage and smiles down at him.

“Swallow and you can breathe again.”

Robb scowls against his hand and tries to grab his wrist and pry the hand away from his mouth. Theon’s got his weight behind his hand, and Robb can’t move it. Eventually he gives in and swallows the pills.

“You’ve always been a royal shit about taking pills,” Theon grins, moving his hands away. Robb takes a deep breath before lightly shoving him.

“You could’ve convinced me a bit more gently.”

“And you wouldn’t have listened. If you didn’t listen to Jon, you weren’t about to listen to me.”

“I could have been…persuaded.”

“Next time,” Theon promises.

Robb ends up being as hard to convince as he has been since childhood, and each time Theon resorts to forcing him.

Jon stoically refuses to ask how Theon’s getting Robb to take his pills. 


	22. Bot Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost sorry for this. Almost.

                Robb is sick of being bedridden after a week of dealing with his broken leg. He hobbles to and from class on crutches, but otherwise he spends his time in bed. He’s going stircrazy, but is smart enough to resist the urge to spend too much time on his leg. He settles for knocking on his and Theon’s shared wall, and a minute or so later, Theon pops his head through the doorway.

                “Oy.”

                “I need something to do. Or someone to talk to. I’ve missed three practices now. Amuse me.”

                “You’re awfully needy,” Theon smiles before ducking back into the hallway. Robb watches his clock, and it takes exactly three minutes for Theon to return with his laptop, charger, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

                “I was imagining something different,” Robb mentions, easily catching the candy when Theon tosses it to him.

                “Sorry if I’m not turned on by the sight of plaster.”

                Theon lightly climbs over him after plugging his laptop in.

                “We’re watching a movie? We could just watch something on the TV. You know I’ve got Netflix hooked up. And you _know_ I hate the idea of pirating.”

                “We could pirate a movie about pirates.”

                Robb looks unamused and Theon shrugs in response.

                “I actually just planned on doing homework while we talk.”

                “Oh. Yeah. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” says Robb.

                “It’s fine,” Theon replies, eyes on his laptop. Robb only believes him because Theon’s moved his foot to rest against Robb’s good shin.

                “You’re very touchy for someone who claims to hate cuddling,” Robb mutters. He reaches for Theon’s knee to stop him from moving away in response.

                “Big difference between touching and having some idiot redhead wrapped around your torso when you’re trying to sleep.”

                “You never mind. You just won’t start it. Unless you’re drunk. Or guilty. Or jealous.”

                Theon is ignoring him in favor of reading something on his laptop. Robb decides to let the argument wait in favor of trying to look at the screen.

                “What are you doing?”

                “A speech. Informative. Doesn’t matter what it’s about.”

                “You could do it on Cuttlefish.”

                “Yeah, no,” Theon scoffs, “People think you’re weird if you talk about sea creatures too much. Kinda like girls who talk about horses all the time.”

                “We still have to pick a day to go riding.”

                “Get back to me on that when your leg is healed, dumbass.”

                “What’s your topic, then?” Robb asks, sitting up enough to rest his chin on Theon’s head.

                “Really pisses me off that you got so tall.”

                “That’s your topic?” Robb chides.

                “Very funny. I might do it on Africanized Honey Bees.”

                “On what?”

                “They call them killer bees,” Theon explains, “They’re like a hybrid. If you piss one off, the rest will come to sting you to death. Watched a documentary where one guy was in an ambulance with the bees still on him. They opened his mouth and found a bunch _in his mouth_.”

                “Lovely. I really hate bees. Is this what you do when you’re not with me? Nature documentaries?”

                “When I’m high and not with you. Yeah. Oh, wait. Let me show you something,” Theon continues, typing into google.

                He pulls up images of the Asian Giant Hornet, which is apparently a bee _the size of a finger_. Robb jolts slightly and Theon smirks.

                “That’s horrible. That’s seriously awful,” Robb says, wrapping an arm around Theon’s waist from behind. Theon’s distracted by typing another search term into google.

                Pictures of the “Bird Eating Spider” pop up and Robb groans.

                “I know for a fact you hate earwigs. Earwigs freak you out, but this thing is okay with you?”

                “It’s kind of fuzzy. It’s not so bad. And it’s only got eight legs.”

                “Like an octopus?”

                “An octopus is nothing like a spider, Robb. Nothing.”

                Robb laughs and buries his face into Theon’s neck while trying to push the computer away. He inhales and can smell nicotine and faint traces of marijuana.

                “You high right now?”

                “I wasn’t just smoking pot in my room,” Theon assures him, pulling the laptop into his lap again.

                “…Are you high on anything right now?”

                Theon sniffs, rolls his eyes, and types “mind control fungus” into the search bar. It brings up pictures of ants with sticks growing from their heads.

                “It gets into their brains. Makes them climb to the top of grass stalks. Then cows eat them. Fucked up, huh? Like zombies.”

                “Theon, what are you on?”

                “You know there’s a brain eating amoeba going around? People who swim in shallow, still water keep getting it. Gets in through your nose.”

                “Come on. Tell me. I won’t get mad,” Robb promises, wrapping his free arm around Theon as well.

                “Coke. There’s a new kind of possibly deadly jellyfish. They’re calling it the common kingslayer. Hell of a name for a jellyfish the size of your fingernail.”

                Robb grabs a fistful of Theon’s shirt and Theon can feel him frown against his neck.

                “Roundworms can get into your eyes. Worms. In your eyes. You can go blind.”

                “Didn’t know you did anything harder than pot,” Robb says.

                “Or go through your intestines. Hookworms can get around under your skin. Leave really creepy tracks.”

                “Please stop,” Robb mumbles into his shoulder. Theon gestures to the image search he’s done, showing a worm-looking line in a person’s eyeball.

                “Kids can get roundworms from playing in sandboxes.”

                “Okay. So I won’t let Bran and Rickon play in any sandboxes.”

                “Good call. No stagnant water either. And if you get a botfly you can lure it out by putting meat on the hole, they say. And they wiggle when you’re in the shower.”

                “I really don’t think any of these topics are going to make people think better of you than if you did it on cuttlefish.”

                “Yeah. Might do it about cuttlefish.”

                “Good. Let’s look at cuttlefish,” Robb says, letting go of Theon to type into the search bar himself.

                “They think they can figure out how to make camouflage for the army using cuttlefish,” Theon says.

                Robb laughs, clicks onto images, and scrolls through.

                “Thought you’d like that.”

                “They’ve got really cute eyes.”

                “Yep. Pisses me off that people eat them,” Theon says. He removes Robb’s hands from the keyboard before leaning back against him. Robb counts it as a minor victory when Theon pulls Robb’s arms back around him, though it may just be because he’s high.

                “No getting high, either?” Theon asks.

                “I’m positive you could have figured as much.”

                “Yeah. A lot easier to pretend I didn’t,” Theon responds.

                “I’d like it if you saw the counsellor,” Robb says, tilting his head to kiss under Theon’s ear.

                “Still no.”

                “I know. But I’d like it if you did,” Robb continues, kissing his way down Theon’s neck.

                “Bot flies can eat holes into your brain,” Theon says. Robb lightly bites him and smirks when it makes him moan.

                “Enough about fucked up nature,” Robb warns, trying to tug Theon’s shirt off without shifting his leg too much.

                “What? You’ll bite me again? Might make you do it harder.”

                Robb complies, bites him a bit harder, and manages to work his shirt off. He lightly traces the outline of the whale and kraken on Theon’s back.

                “You have a shading appointment soon?”

                “Next weekend. Bot fly might burrow out through your tear duct.”

                Robb bites down much harder on Theon’s shoulder and grins when it makes him squirm and grope for Robb’s thigh.

                “Honestly enough, Theon.”

                “I like it when you say my name like a warning. They could burrow anywhere, really,” Theon continues, running a hand up and down Robb’s thigh. Robb laughs and presses his forehead against Theon’s shoulder.

                “It’s not bothering you that much. I can feel that you’re hard,” Theon says. Robb’s hands go still. Theon grins.

                “Doesn’t bother me. Want me to tell you more about bot flies?”

                “It’s cruel to do this when my leg’s hurt and I can’t pin you to the bed and cover your mouth.”

                “Is that dirty talk, Robb Stark?”

                Robb squeezes Theon’s sides and lightly headbutts his shoulder.

                Theon laughs again and twists around to face Robb, undoing his pants with one hand. Robb seems impressed, and Theon assures him that only needing one hand is a bit of a party trick. He slides a hand into Robb’s pants, and Robb lets his head fall back against the propped up pillows.

                “You can get bot flies from a mosquito,” Theon says. He beams when Robb’s eyes snap open to glare at him.

                “Would you forgive me if I gave you head?” Theon asks. Robb nods once, quickly.

                “I owe you one when your leg gets better,” Theon promises, hand still working his cock.

                “Not now?” Robb manages.

                “Nah. Want it to be good. And like hell am I doing it when you can’t return the favor,” Theon explains, running his thumb along the underside of Robb’s shaft.

                “You’re a tease,” Robb huffs.

                “You’ve been teasing me since you were thirteen,” Theon responds, with a slight flick of his wrist, “I’ve wanted to fuck you into the mattress since you asked me what fucking _was_. I want to pull your hair when you come. I want to come in your mouth. I’ve wanted to do that since you asked me what girls say it tastes like. I want to show you.”

                Robb chokes slightly and Theon smirks.

                “Yeah. Might sound something like that,” he continues, picking up speed, “And that. Is how you talk dirty.”

                Robb comes and Theon leans in to kiss him. Then he turns and presses his mouth to Robb’s ear.

                “Bot flies can have hundreds of babies. In your brain.”

                Robb doesn’t feel guilty at all for pushing him off the bed. It takes an hour of pleading and hopeful foreplay until Robb is willing to return the favor. 


	23. Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be something else but then there was slight breathplay

                Theon is used to spending Wednesday nights with Robb and Jon. In the Stark household, Wednesdays were family game night. At college, Jon and Robb transitioned into brother video game night. They’re serious enough about spending time together that they actually spend the night with their phones turned off. (More accurately, Jon’s is off. Robb, being an RA, keeps his on but does not respond unless it is an emergency).

                Theon spent enough time with the Starks that he eventually had to participate in Family Game Night. As he got older, he spent more time avoiding Robb on Wednesdays. Though now, Robb insists on not speaking to him on Wednesdays unless he attends Video Game Night.

                Robb sits between them on the bed, because there’s literally no hope of the night ending well if he doesn’t. It doesn’t stop them from being overly competitive with each other, but it does keep them from actually hitting each other. (Both Theon and Jon never mention the fact that Robb gets far more competitive than the two of them put together).

                “You’re letting him win. Again. Last time you acted so embarrassed when I called you out for it but _you’re letting him win_ ,” Jon insists after two rounds of Soul Calibur.

                “I’m not letting him win, I just suck as Ivy.”

                “You do not. You always play as Ivy.”

                “Well you might not use your dick, but I do. And she’s got the craziest tits,” says Theon.

                “Yes. I’m sure you’re _dating my brother_ because you love her…”

                “Her tits. And I’m not dating him.”

                Robb pauses the game and turns his head to the side to raise an eyebrow at Theon. There’s a beat of silence before Theon gives in and shrugs.

                “I can still love her tits.”

                Robb smiles and turns back to the game.

                “He’s got a point. I don’t want you to let me win,” Robb says.

                “I have let you win since we were kids, Robb. It’s just that neither of you fucking noticed until a few months ago.”

                Jon tries not to smile when Robb pauses the game again.

                “Bullshit,” Robb accuses, and he’s actually offended.

                Theon shrugs at him once more and gestures to the screen.

                “I could show you. But you get really pissy when one of us beats you,” Theon explains. Jon ducks his head to hide a smile and Robb throws a glare at him. They play through another round. When Theon still loses, Robb is smug and proud.         

                Jon glances at him when Robb stands to switch games. Theon half smiles and rolls his eyes and Jon’s suspicion of Theon still throwing the game is confirmed.

                When Robb sits back down, Jon leans in to mumble something to him and Robb can feel Theon tense on his other side. He runs a hand over Theon’s knee, which surprisingly makes him tense more. Jon also goes a bit tense and Robb bites his lip to keep from laughing.

                He shifts to put an arm around Theon instead, which wins him a cough from Jon and a horrified look from Theon.

                “It’s not like he doesn’t _know_ ,” Robb says, feigning defensive.

                “Yeah but it’s fucking weird,” Theon retorts. Jon stoically ignores both of them and pretends to be thoroughly immersed in the controller he’s holding.

                “Has to stop being weird eventually.”

                “No, I’m fine with it always being weird and us avoiding it,” Theon responds. Jon nods, and he and Theon both remain tense and awkward as they stare at each other.

                Robb’s stumbled upon the perfect situation.

                Either Theon tolerates PDA for the sake of pissing Jon off, and Robb gets what he wants.

                Or Theon and Jon have to deal with the fact that they agree on something, which is something he’s wanted for years.

                Eventually, Theon moves slightly away from Robb and picks up the controller.

                Robb smiles and plays through a few rounds of Mario Kart before Theon and Jon resume arguing. He shrugs and leans in to kiss Theon full on the mouth. Jon quickly looks up at the ceiling and mutters something quietly. Theon flinches slightly before his eyes open and he goes ramrod straight.

                When he leaves to microwave pizza rolls, he’s still smiling to himself.

                He returns to find Theon to the far right of the bed with Jon sitting next to him. They stare at him before both pointing to the free spot next to Jon.

                Later, when Jon leaves to take Ygritte to dinner (after many insults from Theon), Robb tries to pull Theon into another kiss.

                “You’re good at getting your way, aren’t you?” Theon mutters. Robb briefly worries that he’s screwed something up, but then Theon tugs him into his lap.

                “Could have gone differently. I could have shoved my tongue down your throat right in front of your prude little brother. Could tell him all sorts of little things that make you moan. Or I could have grabbed your cock.”

                “He’s not prude. He’s just decent.”

                “Runs in your family.”

                “I can be a little less decent,” Robb smiles, shifting to pull Theon’s shirt over his head.

                “Also runs in your family. He lets his girlfriend choke him,” Theon argues.

                “He doesn’t. It really was just hickeys. Who the hell even _thinks_ of that?” Robb asks. Theon maintains a perfectly indifferent expression.

                “Your brother’s freaky little girlfriend.”

                “Are _you_ into it?” Robb asks, serious and sudden.

                “Oh, if only your brother were here for this.”

                “Do you really though?” Robb continues, not willing to drop it.

                “I made a joke. About his hickeys. That’s all.”

                Robb pushes him back onto the bed and Theon laughs.

                “Hell, it made him blush though. You sure he’s not into it and trying not to tell you? Too afraid of your judgment?” Theon continues.

                Robb brushes his fingers over Theon’s throat and the room goes completely silent. After a few moments, Theon swallows and Robb can feel his throat move against his fingers.

                “You know, you’re almost never speechless,” Robb whispers.

                Theon reaches up to pull Robb down against him. Robb laughs and starts to pull his hand away, but Theon stops him to press Robb’s hand harder against his throat.

                “Shit, really?” Robb mumbles, and Theon simply responds by biting Robb’s lower lip and grunting.

                “You could do it harder,” Theon mutters, eyes averted and looking bizarrely innocent for what he’s suggesting.

                “I can’t. I couldn’t do that to you,” Robb says. Theon’s expression drops from desire to embarrassment instantly and Robb winces.

                “Come on. I know too much about…You know. Your family.”

                Theon scowls and swiftly pushes Robb off of him. Robb isn’t used to Theon genuinely using force against him, and is taken aback.

                “Yeah, because obviously everything has to be about that. Couldn’t possibly be a sex thing.”

                “Don’t be mad at me for not wanting to hurt you,” Robb sighs.

                “I’m mad at you for acting like I can’t fucking reason like an adult.”

                “You’re kind of shitty to yourself, Theon. We’ve been talking about this.”

                “Forget it. Could always just piss you off until you snap,” Theon hisses. Anger flares in Robb’s eyes for a heartbeat before it melts into hurt.

                “I would never. If I do it, I’m not going to do it when we’re fighting. At all. And we’d have to be safe about it.”

                Theon ignores him and fidgets with his cellphone. Robb tries not to give in this time, but eventually does move to rest his head against Theon’s shoulder and look up at him.

                “Sorry. Just freaks me out a little.”

                “Then we don’t do it. I’m not that into it.”

                “You were really into it. It’s not like I couldn’t tell.”

                “I could do it. If I didn’t have to hurt you.”

                “I don’t want to talk about it.”

                “And I’m not about to sexually choke you if you won’t talk about it.”

                Theon shrugs and Robb rolls his eyes before moving to kiss the edge of his mouth.

                “Well maybe when you grow up and want to talk about it, I could do it for you.”

                Theon scoffs and turns to lick his way into Robb’s mouth.

                “Don’t you fucking dare say anything to your brother,” Theon says. Robb laughs and earns himself a bite to the shoulder.


	24. Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The misuse of shrink/therapist/psychiatrist interchangibly is intentional don’t send me messages about it please, also THINGS HAPPEN

                After a few weeks back at college, Theon and Robb have another falling out. Robb’s been spending more time with Jon. Normally, Theon would be invited along. But lately Robb is willing to ignore his texts in favor of being alone with his brother. (He can tell he’s ignoring them. Jon and Robb were out in the courtyard once, and Theon watched from his classroom window as Robb picked his phone up before sliding it back into his pocket without responding). When Theon finally gets the nerve to bring it up, Robb is annoyed by his jealousy.

                “I get it when you’re jealous of Jeyne. Or Dacey. Hell, I even get it when you’re jealous of Loras. But Jon is my _brother_ , Theon. What the hell is wrong with me spending time alone with my brother?”

                Theon shrugs and looks down at his phone, which riles Robb up a bit more. Robb getting pissed just pisses Theon off more, so he rolls his eyes.

                “Get out. If you’re going to be moody and not talk about it. If you won’t tell me what’s wrong. I don’t just want you to sulk around in here,” Robb tells him. Theon shrugs again and stands to head back to his room.

Half an hour later, he can hear Jon and Robb talking through the wall. He scowls and turns on music to drown them out. He ignores the urge to text Robb an apology for his jealousy. Then he gets to thinking instead, and his thoughts turn vicious.

_Of course I’m not afraid you’re fucking him, Robb. I’m not goddamn stupid._

_I don’t see why you have to be alone with him when it used to be_ fine _to have me around._

_So what if Jon doesn’t like me, I don’t like him either. You used to deal with it._

I’m _your best friend. He doesn’t get to be your best friend_.

_Unless you’re already sick of me. Doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do._

_Because it wasn’t bad enough to have my fucking father disown me, now you’re going to do it too._

_You’re never going to_ need _me_.

 _It isn’t_ fair.

He’s angry enough at Robb now that the first three shots of rum he takes don’t make him feel guilty in the slightest. A warm buzz starts to go through him and he realizes how much he’s missed drinking since their last real fight.

After a few more drinks, the room feels too hot and he opens the window. He’s sitting with one leg inside and one leg dangling outside when Robb pops his head through the door. He’s leaning on one of his crutches, because it’s still a few more weeks before he can get the cast off.

Theon watches in amusement as Robb glances from the rum bottle to where he’s sitting in the window.

“Get back inside, Theon.”

“You worry about the stupidest fucking things. You have nothing real to worry about. So you just worry about…calculus.”

“I worry about you,” Robb scowls. Theon smiles back at him until he notices Jon standing behind Robb in the hallway.

“I’m not jealous of Jon, you know. It’s not like that. You’d never understand. I bet he’d understand, actually. But you wouldn’t.”

“Get back inside.”

“Why? Am I scaring you?”

Robb pushes the door open a bit more and Theon adjusts his position on the windowsill. He leans a bit too far back and swears he sees Robb drop his crutches the exact moment Theon realizes he’s falling.

When he hits the ground, he can’t breathe. The wind has been knocked out of him and fear bubbles up as he struggles to inhale. He finally fills his lungs and realizes how much pain he’s in. Robb is yelling down from his window, but it’s Jon who has come running down the stairs to kneel next to him.

His back and chest are in searing pain and he can’t breathe quite enough to speak yet. He hears Jon talking into his phone, surprisingly calm. It takes him a few moments to realize that Jon is calling an ambulance and isn’t talking to Robb on the phone.

Robb makes it down the steps before the ambulance arrives. He looks terrified and a sick part of Theon is excited by the attention. Students start to gather around the area, and if he wasn’t in so much pain he’d be horrified by the public embarrassment. It doesn’t take long for the ambulance to show up and the EMTs slide him onto a stretcher. Jon assures Robb that he’ll bring the car and follow after them.

                Theon is ready to leave the hospital nearly four days later.

                Highlights of his stay include:

                _Four broken ribs_

_A broken left wrist_

_The expression on Robb’s face when the doctor asked if he fell or if he jumped._

                 Robb spends a good portion of his free time at the hospital. When he isn’t in class or on RA duty, he’s in the chair next to Theon’s bed. He’s unwilling to sit with Theon on the bed, but he’s not willing to go home either.

                Jon drives Robb to the hospital on Theon’s discharge day.

                He’s loaded into the back of the car, mostly with Jon’s help. Robb is still on crutches and they must look like they were in a car accident.

                Jon turns the key in the ignition, and “There’s a Light That Never Goes Out” starts playing. Theon laughs and it hurts his ribs enough to make him gag on the pain. Robb looks over his shoulder from the passenger’s seat and Theon smiles weakly.

                “And if a double-decker bus….crashes into us,” Theon sings, softly, “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.”

                Jon is looking at him now, as well.

                “And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us,” Theon continues, louder now.

                Robb turns away from him, jaw set and staring straight ahead. Jon takes a cue from his brother and starts driving home.

                Theon sings louder and Robb stares blankly at the ceiling of the car. Jon reaches to turn the music off and Theon laughs again, wincing.

                Robb starts to help him out of the car when they make it back to the dorm. Theon bats his hands away.

                “I’ve had worse. Just a few broken ribs. Not that bad for a Greyjoy,” he explains. Robb runs a hand through his hair and squeezes his eyes shut.

                He’s settled into his bed with Jon’s help. He’d be more embarrassed if he wasn’t still coasting a bit on his pain medication. Robb is staring at the now-closed window.

                “If you don’t get help, I’ll make him leave you,” Jon says, so quietly he can barely hear him.

                Theon smiles lightly at him and Jon leaves the room without another word.

                Robb is tense, sitting at the foot of the bed and still staring at the window.

                “You don’t have to stay,” Theon tells him.

                “I want you to stop hurting. I want you to get help because I want to know how I can help you feel okay. You don’t have to feel so horrible all the time. And I want to help you.”

                “I fell, Robb.”

                “Because you were drinking.”

                They’re quiet for a while.

                “I’ve always felt like this.”

                “You could change that. Talk to a psychiatrist.”

                “Oh, so now it’s a psychiatrist instead of a counsellor,” Theon jokes.

                “You might have…I mean...Maybe you need antidepressants, Theon.”

                “I don’t want to talk to someone about my _problems_. I don’t need pills. I’m not fucking crazy.”

                “I talk to the counsellor, you know,” Robb sighs.

                “Bullshit. Your life is fine. Everything about you is fine. What the hell could you need a counsellor for?”

                “I talk about you, usually.”

                Theon glances up from his lap, and Robb is watching him carefully.

                “I’ve been worried about you for years, Theon.”

                “Jon says you’ll leave me if I don’t get help.”

                “He wants me to. I don’t want to.”

                “I couldn’t talk to a shrink. I wouldn’t say anything. I’d just sit there for an hour. Waste of money.”

                “I’ll pay for it, then.”

                “I’m not going to let you pay for me to not talk to a therapist.”

                “Then I guess you’ll actually have to talk,” Robb reasons.

                Theon turns his head to stare at the wall.

                “Will you stay?”

                “Tonight, you mean? Or in general?”

                Theon doesn’t answer him. Robb very gently moves to lie next to him.

                “I’ll stay. You have an appointment. Tomorrow, I mean. I made an appointment.”

                The next afternoon, Jon is leaning against the side of his car when Robb and Theon hobble up. He’s the only one of the trio who can currently drive. Theon relishes in Jon’s surprise when he shows up.

He spends his hour of therapy talking about Robb and avoiding talking about his family or his drinking or his jealousy. He doesn’t talk about his anxiety or his cynicism. He talks about Robb.

                When he gets back into the car, Robb turns around in his seat to look at him. He gestures back with a business card with an appointment date written in. Robb grins and squirms out of his seat until he can kiss him. It’s the first time they’ve kissed in over a week, and it feels better than his Percocets do. He catches Jon smiling, just barely.

                Robb spends the night again. He’s as gentle as he can be when he lightly kisses Theon’s neck, making sure not to touch his chest.

                “You’re really just too good, Robb. Just so good. How do you do it?”

                “I don’t know why you think you’re so bad.”

                “I don’t think I’m bad. I think everyone who isn’t you is bad.”

                “That’s unhealthy.”

                “Funny, that’s what the shrink said.”

                “I’m really glad you’re getting help. I mean it. I just want you to feel okay, for once.”

                “I’m in love with you,” Theon tells him, “I’ve been in love with you for a long time now. Is that okay?”

                “That’s okay. Now we just have to make you okay, too.”

                “Have to make you love me, too.”

                “That’s not going to be very hard,” Robb whispers into his hair.

                In the morning, he’s going to have to start worrying about catching up in class. But for now, he doesn’t want to think of anything but Robb’s unspoken promise. 


	25. Skittles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the shit out of having Jon in Throbb fic. FIGHT ME.

                The more Jon thinks about it, the more alarmed he is that dating doesn’t change much between Theon and Robb. Which makes him realize that they’ve probably always looked like they were dating to outsiders.

                When they go out to eat at a bistro or a diner, they don’t ask before they exchange Theon’s tomatoes for Robb’s pickle spear. It’s something they’ve been doing for years, and Jon never thought anything of it until the two started dating. It’s not as though they’re the type to feed each other French fries. It’s just that they’ve always been so comfortably compatible.

                Theon’s known Robb’s schedule since day one of the semester. Whenever Robb isn’t with Jon, he can usually just text Theon and find out where his brother is. Even Junior and Senior years of high school, when Theon had already graduated, he had kept tabs on Robb’s whereabouts. In hindsight, maybe Jon feels a bit stupid for not noticing Theon’s preoccupation with his brother a bit earlier.

                He’s got one class with Theon this semester. They don’t sit together, of course. But he notices Theon’s spreading out skittles by color on top of his desk. He saves the reds and purples for last, which is suspicious, because he’s seen Robb and Theon share a bag of skittles dozens of times and Theon always says he prefers the yellows, oranges, and greens.

                And there’s always the matter of Theon letting Robb win on Video Game Night. He recalls Theon driving himself and Robb to the paintball range when they were younger. He had spotted Theon leaning up against a tree with the paintball gun pointed to the ground. Jon started to aim when he realized Theon was watching Robb in amusement, but making no move to aim at him.  At the time, he figured Theon was just a sick little shit who enjoyed watching oblivious Robb try to find him.

                Part of Jon feels validated now that he knows Robb always winning might have something to do with Theon’s desire to let him win.

                Robb bakes brownies for one of the dorm meetings. Box mix brownies, because Robb isn’t exactly an excellent chef. Before he brings them out to share, he cuts all the corners off. Later, he delivers them to Theon, who uses his broken ribs as an excuse to avoid hall meetings.

                Why Theon loves the burnt edges is beyond him. But he always has, and Robb always has saved them for when Theon visits.

Jon has a moment of fear when he realizes that he’s _also_ aware of all of Theon and Robb’s little sharing-quirks. He calms himself with the validation that he doesn’t actually engage in any of them. Robb and Jon both like tomatoes and hate pickles, so it’s not as though they can exchange them like Theon and Robb do.

Though, seeing as he’s now aware that Theon does like the red and purple skittles, he’s wondering if Theon’s always made small sacrifices to make Robb happier.

It’s genuinely disturbing to imagine Theon putting so much effort into making Robb happy.

But occasionally he’ll walk past Robb’s door and notice Reese’s cups taped to his whiteboard.

Or he’ll notice Theon watching Robb when he assumes they’re alone.

It’s honestly gross. Anyone else, and it would be heartwarming. But it’s Theon. And he _hates_ Theon.

He’s walking into the campus center with Ygritte and nearly runs into Theon, who’s carrying two coffees (Impressive, with a broken wrist).

“Oy, watch where you’re going,” Theon says, scowling.

“Comin’ from you? You ran inta us,” Ygritte snaps back.

“Your girlfriend has a stupid fucking accent,” Theon tells him.

“Theon. I’ve told you about him. He’s my brother’s…” Jon begins. He glances from Ygritte to Theon and then to the two coffees he’s still holding.

“My brother’s boyfriend, I guess.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just fucking,” Theon says, directing his attention to Ygritte. She smiles when Jon squirms and Theon thinks she’s already much better than her boyfriend is.

“You’ve kind of been his boyfriend for years, Theon.”

Theon scoffs and starts to retort, but is cut off by Ygritte.

“Datin’. Not datin’. You’re fuckin’ him, yeah?”

Jon goes pale and runs a hand through his hair.

“Can we _not_ talk about Robb like that?”

“Don’t so much care who you’re fuckin’. Just as long as it’s not Jon.”

Theon immediately decides he does _not_ like Ygritte. Jon stares at her in horror as she smiles crookedly and continues her way into the building. There’s an uncomfortable silence as he and Theon stare at each other.

“I wouldn’t. So no worries about that,” Theon tells him, “Your brother is a lot more attractive than you.”

Internally, Theon scolds himself for saying ‘more than you’ instead of simply telling Jon ‘at least Robb is attractive’.

“Please never talk to me about finding my brother attractive,” Jon says, looking over Theon’s shoulder to make sure Ygritte hasn’t run off without him.

                “We really are dating, aren’t we?”

                “Yeah. I’d say you guys are dating. Don’t fuck it up with him. I’m sure you know he deserves better than you’ve been giving him.”

                Theon rolls his eyes, but Jon can still see how tense he is. It’s reassuring, at least. 

                “Go let your girlfriend choke you,” Theon chides.

                “Go bring your boyfriend his morning coffee,” Jon responds.

                He smiles when Theon moodily pushes past him. 


	26. Vodka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entirely because I wanted to make the thing that happens with Jon happen.  
> Have you noticed that these summaries get more and more casual.  
> have  
> you

                The second time they break up is even worse than the first. The first time, it was through a drunken text message and wasn’t exactly taken seriously. The second time, no one actually says that they’re breaking up. But they do. Publically and _badly_.

                Theon had been doing better. He had. Until fucking _Jeyne Westerling_ started showing up again. Jeyne, who Theon is convinced Robb’s never truly gotten over. He’d love to know what Robb’s always seen in her. Curly brown hair and a little lithe body. She’s _boring_ , Theon thinks. He’s fucked dozens of girls who look like Jeyne Westerling. And she’s dull, to Theon. Not to Robb, though. Robb’s Freshman year of high school was spent so very _in love_ with the Westerling girl. It was shitty for Theon then, but it’s much worse now.

                She makes him smile more often than Theon can.

                Theon retaliates by getting high on coke when one of the Rugby players throws a party. When Robb confronts him, having spoken to the player he bought the powder from, he traps him in one of the hallways. He’s hurt, but Theon’s bitter enough to enjoy it. Robb starts to protest. He starts to tell him that he’d been doing well.

                “I’m going to fuck Jeyne Westerling,” Theon tells him.

                Robb stares him straight in the eyes until Theon smirks at him. He notices Robb’s fist clench lightly, three times in quick succession.

                “You ever talk to your counsellor about your anger problems?” he taunts. They’ve drawn attention now, and he knows that he’s being unfair to Robb in a way that he’s _never_ been. Robb’s doing a stellar job of not reacting, so he pushes harder.

                “Do you talk about how rough your life is? Straight A. Rugby team. Mother’s favorite. Best Smile. Most likely to succeed. It’s funny that you think you know _anything_ about _anything_ , Robb.”

                Robb’s standing very still. He’s not acknowledging the people around them.

                “Or does it make you feel like you’re deeper than you are? Because you refuse to admit how fucking _perfect_ your life is. How _perfect_ you are.”

                “I’m done, Theon. I tried. And I’m done,” Robb says. With that, he turns ever-so-calmly, and walks away.

                Theon’s fucked up before. But he’s never actually gotten Robb to back down. He stays frozen to the spot in the hallway as the crowd disperses. It takes a few more minutes to realize what he’s done.

                And then he finds his way into the kitchen, where he opens a handle of Vodka and sets to work. The taste alone is enough to make him gag, so he drinks it quickly in an attempt to get drunk before he pukes.

                Robb does not come back to check on him.

                He doesn’t remember making his way outside, but suddenly he realizes that he’s on one of the courtyard benches. He’s still got the bottle in his hand, though the top is now shattered. He briefly hopes he hasn’t been drinking broken glass.   

                Jon, curiously, is the one who finds him. He’s stoic when he hauls Theon off the bench, and Theon remembers years ago when Jon was smaller than him. He can actually feel Jon bristling in anger, though he’s fairly certain that’s how Jon always is when Theon’s around.

                They don’t speak, and Theon lets Jon lead him across the campus and up the stairs to his room.

                When Theon glances at Robb’s door as they pass, Jon nearly laughs.

                “He’s not in there. He’s in my room, because he’s just as drunk as you are. You really fucked up this time, Greyjoy. Really, really fucked up.”

                Theon isn’t paying attention to him, because he’s trying to read what’s written on the whiteboard hanging from Robb’s door. He’s certain it’s from Jeyne Westerling.

                “Good. It’s over then. You get to keep him away from me. And I get to move on,” Theon says, eerily calm.

                “I don’t think it works that way,” Jon sighs, “Where are your keys?”

                “I can’t be with him, Jon. I can’t get better. He doesn’t get it. He could never get it. You get it,” Theon mumbles. He’s drunk enough that he doesn’t even register that he’s finally calling Jon by his name instead of insulting him.

                “He wants to understand. He’s trying.”

                “But he doesn’t. Understand. You know. You love him, too.”

                “He’s my brother. Of course I love him.”

                “Yeah, but you fucking hate him just like I do.”

                “You don’t hate him,” Jon says, quiet and serious, “You love him. Buy you want to be him, too. And failing that you want him to know what it’s like to be alone. And then maybe he’ll know why it’s so hard for you to stop.”

                Theon does not expect to kiss Jon.

                He does not _mean_ to kiss Jon.

                But then he is. It’s angry, in a way he doesn’t let himself be with Robb. It’s more of a bite than it is a kiss, and he’s got his hand wrapped in Jon’s curls. (Longer than Robb’s, he thinks, surprised that he’s thinking at all). Jon doesn’t move.

                When Theon stops kissing him, Jon still hasn’t moved.

                They’re both breathing a bit harshly and Theon bursts into laughter. Jon reaches into Theon’s coat pocket, finds his room keys, and abruptly pushes him through the doorway.

                Theon’s confused by the turn of events, and he starts to say something before Jon quickly cuts him off.

                “You’re in love with my brother. I know you are. I can see it. I don’t exactly like it. But I can tell you love him. You’re going to fix this.”

                “I can’t fix this,” Theon laughs, “That’s why I did it.”

                “You’re going to fix it. You’re going to wake up in the morning and you’re going to tell him you’re sorry. You’re going to sit down and tell him everything you just told me. And he’s going to try to understand. And he probably still won’t. And you’re going to accept that. And realize that he doesn’t have to understand it. And that things would be fine if you’d just grow up and talk to him.”

                “You’re the one who told him to leave me if I fucked up again.”

                “I know. And he probably should. But he came to my room, drunk off his ass to ask me what you meant when you told him I understood him better than you do. So I don’t really think I’m going to convince him to give up.”

                “Yeah, he wouldn’t be Robb if he gave up, would he?”

                “No. He wouldn’t be.”

                “What if he still breaks up with me? Hm?”

                “Then I guess you go back to being his dumbass friend.”

                “I don’t want to be his friend.”

                “Maybe you should talk to Robb about this,” Jon sighs.

                “Yeah, but you _get_ it.”

                “He’ll forgive you. Because it’s you. And he always forgives you,” Jon tells him.

                In the morning, he finds Robb still curled up in Jon’s bed. Jon gets up from where he’s curled in a blanket on the floor and heads out of the room.

                Theon’s supposed to tell him about why he’s so afraid. And he’s supposed to tell him how badly he wants Robb to understand him. He doesn’t tell him any of it. And he doesn’t tell him about kissing Jon.

                Instead he tells Robb that he’s sorry. And that he’s an idiot. That he’s still upset that his father doesn’t talk to him anymore. That he’s sorry for being so jealous over nothing. That all he wants is to be the person who makes Robb smile the most and that part of him hates anyone else who can make Robb smile.

                It’s the last bit that softens Robb’s expression.

                They’re both hungover and not in the mood to leave the dorm. They head back to Robb’s room, where they turn on the television for background noise.

                Theon curls up in a tight ball, tucked in against Robb’s side. Robb mumbles something about Theon only ever getting physically clingy when they fight, but wraps an arm around him anyway.

                Robb smiles just a bit when Theon pulls the quilt over their heads to create a small fort.

                “I’ve been seeing the therapist. And talking. Honestly,” Theon mutters.

                “I know.”

                “I don’t want you to hurt. It’s not like that. I like it when you’re happy. I just don’t know how to make you understand.”

                “I know.”

                “Really fucking sucks. Being like this. Being me all the time.”

                “I love you,” Robb says. It’s been weeks since Theon first said it. But Robb says in in that completely sure way of his, and Theon can’t think of how to respond.

                “Oh.”

                “You might not believe me now. But you will,” Robb continues. And he’s so confident that it hurts to hear it.


	27. Jenga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it angst? Is it fluff? Is is sex? Is it Jon?  
> YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE VAGUE TITLES

                They’re playing Jenga on a Thursday night because Robb is afraid to leave Theon alone on “Thirsty Thursday” and because they’ve gotten completely sick of Brawl and Left 4 Dead. Jon’s with them, though he plans to pick up Ygritte in an hour or so. His phone buzzes regularly and Robb shoots him death glares for making the table shake.                

                Theon has surprisingly still hands for a smoker, and excels at Jenga. It’s also the only game he never lets Robb win at. He hides his smile every time Robb knocks the tower over. Eventually, Robb catches him laughing and they get into a gentle shoving match while Jon does his best to ignore them.

                A few minutes later, Jon sighs loudly.

                “That’s my leg. Not his,” he states. Robb looks horrified and Theon wishes he had quick enough reflexes to take a picture with his phone in the moment it takes for Robb’s knee to jerk up and knock into the table. Pieces go flying, Robb continues to look horrified, and Jon stares at him as though he’s insane.

                “Jenga,” Theon calls, without missing a beat.

                Jon’s shoulders start shaking and then Theon realizes that he’s laughing so hard no sound is coming out.

                Robb makes an amazingly unattractive noise before reaching to tug Theon out of his chair and onto the floor. Theon retaliates by latching onto his arm and pulling him down as well. The motion knocks the table over, and it lands primarily on Jon’s lap. He sighs and pushes the table away, resisting the temptation to knock it onto Theon and Robb, who are still grappling on the floor.

                “You fucking _suck_ at Jenga,” Theon chokes out. Robb sets to tickling him and does not flinch when Theon violently flails in reaction.

                Jon runs a hand through his hair before getting up to find his phone, which was lost in the fray.

                Theon mutters something about Jenga blocks digging into his back and Robb moves to let him up, accepting it as a “mercy”.

                Little wooden planks are literally spread from the door to the far side of the room, and they set to work finding the pieces.

                They collect the first 12 pieces quickly enough. Then Robb finds another two under his bed. Jon finds one behind the trashcan. Theon finds three more under the heater.

                Robb finds one standing upright and they all marvel at the coincidence.

                Theon and Jon accidentally touch hands when reaching for the same piece and snap away quickly, with Theon cracking his head on the bed frame and Jon recoiling as though he had been burnt. Robb laughs delightedly, but Theon and Jon stare at each other with such dread that he ends up concerned. He tries not to think on why they’re so upset when he tries to tease them about it.

                They find fifty-two of the fifty-four pieces. Jon escapes when Ygritte calls him. Robb goads Theon into continuing the search for another fifteen minutes before they give up.

                In all honesty, he only gives up the search when Theon literally climbs on top of him while he’s trying to look under the bed again. He lifts up just enough to let Robb roll over onto his back before he’s kissing him.

                “Your brother’s gone,” Theon says, in way of explanation. Then he latches his mouth onto Robb’s neck.

                “You know I hate hickeys,” Robb grumbles.

                “Because you either care too much about being a pretty boy or because you’re _insane_ ,” says Theon, who’s now tugging at Robb’s collar to expose more skin.

                “Or because I prefer actually kissing,” Robb argues, threading a hand in Theon’s hair to try and direct the boy back to his mouth.

                “You have an oral fixation, hm? Could come in handy. For…well…moving past handies,” Theon jokes, ignoring Robb’s insistent hair tugging.

                “You want to?” Robb asks, hopeful. He shifts slightly and his hands dig into Theon’s hips.

                “Are you going to make me do it first again?” Theon questions, finally moving to run his tongue along Robb’s lower lip.

                “You don’t have to. But…Don’t make me feel stupid when I do it,” he warns before pulling Theon in to kiss him. Then he kisses the corner of his mouth before kissing him full on the lips again. Theon smiles a bit, soft and easy.

                “Excited, I take it?” Robb asks.

                “Yeah. That too,” Theon answers. Robb’s confused, but drops the subject in favor of gesturing for Theon to sit on the bed.

                Theon recognizes his determined “game face” and makes an impressive effort to not start laughing before his pants are even undone. He settles onto the edge of the bed and stares down at Robb, who’s watching him as though he’s waiting to be told what play to run.

                “You have to get a bit closer than that,” Theon deadpans. Robb laughs, nervous, and Theon can feel his own pulse start to climb. He looks away while he undoes his pants to draw his cock out and give it a few preparation tugs. He’s acutely aware of Robb watching him, and in the back of his mind he’s trying to recall if they’ve ever actually _looked_ at what they were doing when jerking each other off. Theon’s starting to worry about going soft when he feels Robb cover his hand with his own.

                When he looks down to see Robb kneeling in between his legs, he starts cursing without meaning to. It makes Robb break into an easy, more confident grin and Theon glances to the ceiling and lets out a pitiful whine.

                He tries to think of anything to make Robb less attractive to him, and comes up short. Instead, while Robb slowly tugs on his cock, he thinks of the way he sounds when he laughs. And he thinks of wrestling in the courtyard. He thinks of the way Robb’s gently pulled bottle after bottle away from him and he thinks of riding their bikes through the woods when they were younger.

                He stops thinking when Robb’s lips hit the head of his cock, and he gasps when his tongue traces the ridge between head and shaft. He leans until his back hits the bed, and he can actually feel that smile now. Absently, he reaches for Robb’s hair, because he needs to be touching part of him. Robb does his best to take him in his mouth, but chokes himself slightly. Theon snorts out a laugh and sits up on his elbows when Robb pulls his mouth away. The air is cold on his now wet cock and he’s miserable. Robb is glaring slightly and Theon laughs again, giddier.

                “Sorry. It’s just…I mean, everyone chokes themself their first time,” Theon explains. Robb rolls his eyes, and Theon sits up before leaning down to kiss him. It’s gentle and calm and he’s finally kissing Robb the way he wishes he had from the start. Robb’s shoulders loosen and he smiles before lightly nipping Theon’s lip. He moves a hand back to Theon’s cock, and Theon grunts against his mouth.

                “I’ll figure it out,” Robb says, soft and dirty. Theon wants to mumble a mantra of ‘I love you’, but refuses to be so sentimental in bed. Instead, he keeps kissing Robb, soft and strikingly chaste. Robb’s still grinning when he pulls away to put his mouth back on Theon’s cock.

                He’s moments away from coming and it is like:

                _Their first R-rated movie._

_The first time Robb swore._

_Playing in leaf piles._

_Building snow forts._

_Blue eyes and red hair._

_Singing in the car at two am._

_Being convinced to ride the drop tower._

_Shotgunning a cigarette._

_The first time Robb called him ‘my best friend’._

Impressively, the sentiment is not ruined when Robb chokes again and spits out come on the floor. He looks up at Theon with a mix between amused and annoyed, and Theon reaches down to run his fingers through those curls again.

                “Hey,” Theon mumbles, quiet and content. Robb smirks slightly, proud and regal even with his mouth looking bruised and used.

                “Mm?”

                “Found one,” Theon tells him, reaching behind him to pick up one of the last Jenga pieces. Robb tackles him onto the bed. Theon usually resents someone trying to kiss him when they still taste like come, but this is _Robb_. They end up making out for the better portion of fifteen minutes before Robb starts squirming. Theon’s tempted to wait it out until Robb gives in and asks for him to reciprocate.

                But it’s Robb, and he actually _wants_ to.

                They never do find the last Jenga piece. Usually, it would drive Robb crazy, but he kind of smiles whenever they set up their almost-complete tower. 


	28. Veracity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I RETURN TO YOU

When Theon thinks too much, he stops eating. It’s not intentional, but it’s a habit he’s always had. He won’t show up to meals. Sometimes he’ll retch when he smells food. Eating makes him feel sick. Therefore, he prefers to pound back coffee and chain-smoke cigarettes to keep himself going.

It drives Robb crazy, because he’s very much like his mother. Which means he wants nothing more than to take care of the people he cares about. He worries when Theon starts missing lunch. At first Theon says he’s been feeling sick. But a week goes by, and he’s not sick, he’s just not eating well.

He drags Theon to dinner and watches him carefully. When he starts eating, he’s fine. But then he puts a hand over his mouth and drops his fork onto his plate. He talks through the rest of the meal, but doesn’t say anything that hints at why he’s stressed. Robb hates pushing the matter, but some part of him insists on trying to feed Theon whenever the opportunity arises.

They spend Friday night marathoning superhero movies. Robb makes an excessive amount of popcorn and keeps the bowl between them. Theon ignores it in favor of smoking a hookah pen. Robb protests, because he’s still an RA, and Theon assures him that it won’t make the smoke detector go off. He doesn’t eat more than a handful of popcorn.

Robb has to walk around the campus on rounds, and on his way back to the dorm, he picks up a Twix bar at the campus center. He tosses it onto Theon’s lap when he gets back to the room and watches him until Theon gives in and eats it. He looks miserable afterwards, genuinely sick, but at least he’s got something in his stomach.

By Saturday night, Robb is willing to suggest getting high in an attempt to make Theon want to eat again. Theon shrugs, mutters something about having a better plan, and slides a hand down Robb’s pants. Robb stops worrying about why Theon’s worried.

Theon gets fidgety afterwards and Robb’s immediately back to worrying. He throws an arm around Theon, who weakly protests before resting his chin on Robb’s chest.

“Did you talk to your dad?” Robb asks, sick of not knowing. Theon goes rigid and Robb reflexively tightens his hold. He definitely feels thinner than usual.

“No. I haven’t talked to him since Winter Break. I’m not going home this summer. I’ll probably get an apartment out here,” Theon responds, sounding uninterested. He’s still tense, though, and he lightly tries to pull away.

“Get an apartment back home,” Robb suggests, “Then I’d always be over.”

Robb figures that now isn’t a good time to bring up the fact that Theon never does well when he’s alone for too long. Theon smiles and loosens up.

“Never thought you’d suggest I pick my apartment location based on how often we’d get to fuck,” Theon teases. He’s far happier now that Robb’s huffing and rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure it has nothing to do with me wanting my best friend around,” Robb scoffs. Theon smiles again, but this time it’s the quick shy smile that comes when he isn’t thinking about it.

“Plus I could fuck you whenever,” Theon says, when he remembers that he hasn’t come up with a snippy response.

“Yeah. We could be alone for long enough to figure out…” Robb begins, running a hand along Theon’s spine.

“What, lube? Can’t be that hard.”

“Theon.”

“It’s going to be very awkward if you won’t even say lube. At least I didn’t say anything about slippery buttholes.”

“Theon!”

“You’re adorable when you’re scandalized,” Theon laughs.

“And I don’t think I agreed to you fucking me,” Robb says. Theon stares at him for a long time before raising one eyebrow.

“I’d let you. But it’s only fair if you…Well…” Robb continues. Theon scowls and goes rigid again. Robb rolls his eyes and decides to fight that battle another day.

Robb idly traces the now partially-shaded tattoo on Theon’s back and they’re quiet for a few minutes.

“You should probably try eating something. Even if you don’t tell me why you don’t feel like eating,” Robb says, still running his fingertips along the outline of the whale. Theon squirms until he’s sitting up. Robb tries reaching for his wrist, but it makes him pull further away.

“Promise you won’t get mad. Not really mad, at least.”

“…Did you get drunk again?” Robb asks, tentatively. Theon sighs and Robb feels slightly guilty for asking.

“No. Not since last time. When you broke up with me.”

“I didn’t actually break up with you.”

“You did. Just for the night. But you broke up with me,” Theon says, completely adamant. He stares Robb down until he nods in agreement.

“Yeah. Just for the night. I didn’t really mean it.”

“At the time you meant it.”

“…Is this what you’re upset about?”

“I kissed your brother,” Theon says, quickly and quietly. He’s wrapped his arms around his knees and his hair is still tousled from fooling around. He’s not looking at Robb and he looks _scared_. When Robb doesn’t say anything, his shoulders hunch and he wraps more protectively around himself.

Robb bursts into laughter so intense he starts to choke. Theon looks at him, stunned and with his mouth half open. Robb’s shaking his head in disbelief and physically cannot make himself talk.

“You’re not mad,” Theon says, baffled. Robb holds up his hand to signal for Theon to wait and continues laughing. He’s got tears forming in the corners of his eyes and he’s bright red. It makes him look decidedly unattractive, but Theon still wants to kiss him.

“I’m…I’m kind of mad,” Robb manages, though he’s still laughing and it doesn’t come across seriously.

Theon’s shifted so he’s no longer holding his knees, but he hasn’t moved any closer. He looks a bit like a cat, suspiciously wondering if he can move any closer.

“You kissed _Jon_. I thought….All these years….I cannot,” Robb laughs, “I had no idea you had a thing for _Jon_.”

“I don’t,” Theon scowls, “He was there. You weren’t. It seemed like a good way to get back at you.”

“…I’m glad you told me, at least,” Robb says, and now he’s serious.

“He said he’d tell you if I didn’t,” Theon grumbles, bitter as ever.

“You must not hate him as much as you claim to,” Robb tells him. Halfway through the sentence, he loses his ability to hold a serious face and bursts into laughter again.

“You get ugly when you’re all red,” Theon huffs. Robb starts to frown until Theon leans in to rest his forehead on his shoulder.

“You don’t mean that,” Robb says smugly.

“I do. I just don’t mind, is all.”

“Don’t kiss my brother again.”

“Snowball’s chance in hell,” Theon growls. Robb starts laughing again and Theon pushes him until they’re lying down again.

“You must have the sickest fantasies,” Robb says. Theon goes board-stiff and Robb starts laughing again. Theon does not feel guilty when Robb starts gasping that it hurts to laugh. 


	29. The Devil

Theon can admit to himself that he must have a skewed vision of Robb Stark. He’s spent most of their friendship idolizing and resenting him simultaneously, which means he’s built Robb up as much more than he can possibly be. On very rare occasions, he remembers that Robb isn’t exactly the perfect model of everything a person should be.

Of course he’s still kind and hopeful and brave. He’s bright and inspirational and charming. He’s friendly, he’s talented, he’s strong, and he’s persistent.

But he’s also got a quick temper. He controls it well, now that he’s older. But sometimes Theon notices Robb clench a fist when he’s worked up and it takes everything in Theon to not wince.

He’s stubborn, to the point of refusing to listen to other arguments. Sometimes, it’s a good thing. It means he hasn’t given up on Theon in the ten years they’ve known each other. However, it also means that he’s willing to argue about bullshit like rugby for _hours_.  

Robb’s also apparently been hiding a really sick sense of humor for the past ten years.

Theon doesn’t notice until it’s too late.

On Wednesday, Jon comes over for weekly video game night. Theon throws a few insults, Jon ignores them, and things are completely normal.

But over the course of the night, Theon slowly realizes that Robb Stark may actually have a bit of the devil in him.

Soon after his arrival, Robb leans over to Jon to whisper something to him. Theon bristles in annoyance at first, but then Robb catches his eye and _fucking winks_.

Theon starts to protest, but Robb grins and leans in to whisper to Jon again. Jon, for his part, only looks slightly confused. Theon pats himself down to find his phone and does his best to ignore Robb while he types out a text.

_I can think of nothing more perverted than trying to use your brother to screw with me._

Robb picks up his own phone and manages to keep a completely straight face.

_I don’t think you have it in you to admit to Jon that you like it._

Theon scowls, types into his phone, and still refuses to look at Robb.

_You’re supposed to be the good one._

Robb’s phone vibrates and Jon glances between the two of them, catching on quickly enough that they’re texting each other. He looks slightly hurt, and a vindictive part of Theon celebrates. Then Robb looks at Jon, shrugs, and lightly nudges him. Jon nudges him back with the slightest of smiles.

Theon decides nothing would please him more than tying Robb up and _leaving him in a closet for hours_ after this. It takes every bit of self control he can gather to keep himself from glancing to his right, where Robb and Jon have gotten into a light grappling match. They eventually settle down, and it’s felt like an hour even though it was probably a minute at most. Theon chances a look, and Robb is smiling at him with such fake innocence that he wants to pounce on him.

They’re back to playing Brawl, and Theon’s pleased when Robb presses their knees together. He’s also pleased when Robb leans heavily against Jon, though he is never going to actually say so. Something about Jon having no clue what Robb is up to makes the situation so much more perverted than it already is.

Theon’s only fond of affectionate touching when he’s in an awful mood. Otherwise, it makes him feel pathetic and sentimental. He’d much prefer to screw around and lick and kiss and fuck.  Robb, however, has been always been a cuddle whore. Even as children, sleeping over with the Starks meant waking up with Robb glued to one side of his body. Matters haven’t improved since they’ve begun dating. (Though, there’s been more licking and kissing and sucking.)

Jon may be even worse than Robb, Theon realizes. He’s always come across as starved for attention and something about Robb’s gentle affection seems to ease him up and take away his constant little scowl. Jon loses a match to Theon, and Robb ruffles those thick black curls teasingly. _It drives Theon insane_.

Theon catches himself staring and jolts his knee away from Robb. Robb laughs, barely, but Jon notices and looks thoroughly confused again.

The night becomes a stop-and-go game. Theon either completely refuses to pay attention to Robb and Jon or he finds himself staring. Robb either plays nice or deliberately tries to draw Theon’s attention back to himself. Jon either happily relaxes into his brother’s friendly touches or glares at Theon whenever he starts to suspect something.

Jon gets a phone call and excuses himself to the hallway. Theon and Robb hold eye contact for a beat after the door closes. Then Theon quite literally tackles him, pins him to the bed, and stares him dead in the eyes.

“ _Why?_ ”

“You seem to like it well enough,” Robb responds, feigning innocence. Theon refuses to let himself be distracted. He refuses for three entire seconds. And then his mouth is pressed under Robb’s ear and he’s muttering profanities. Robb beams. Theon can feel the muscles in his neck twitch along with his smile.

“You used to be such a good boy,” Theon protests, trailing his mouth along Robb’s throat.

“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Robb says, amused. The mirth in his voice makes Theon tremble. Robb raises an eyebrow, because he’s definitely noticed. He’s good enough not to say anything about it.

“It’s fucking sick, is what it is,” Theon argues. Robb smiles back at him before pulling him down for a kiss.

“I love what it does to you,” he replies. Theon shivers again and this time Robb smirks against the corner of his mouth.

“Really gets you, doesn’t it. You’re shaking,” Robb teases. Theon’s about to deny it when Jon enters the room again, stutters in shock and quickly slams the door shut again.

They break apart and Robb calls for Jon to come back into the room. Jon won’t make eye contact with either of them, regardless of Robb’s reassurance that they were just screwing around and weren’t actually _screwing around_.

Theon shakes lightly to Robb’s left. Jon’s tense on his right. They unpause the game and after a few more deaths, they’ve all settled down again.

Robb shifts to rest his back against Theon’s  side and to settle his legs across his brother’s lap. Theon whispers a death threat and Jon glances over quizzically. Robb grins and Theon threatens him once more. Jon rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the screen. Theon just barely kisses Robb’s temple, but the almost-public display of affection still surprises him. He loses a life in the game while he’s distracted and Theon grins against Robb’s curls when he makes a noise of protest. 


	30. Quarry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick in-between drabble

                It’s finally warm again, which means the entire campus is full of students basking in the sun. They’re all going to be sunburnt by the time they come inside, but no one can resist enjoying the weather.

                Robb’s already going pink on his nose. He’ll be miserable when he notices it later. Even though he’s got all the looks in the world going for him, he’s still a redhead, and he still burns when he doesn’t use sunscreen. He’s wearing shorts, and he’s probably the only guy Theon doesn’t think looks ridiculous in anything other than pants.

                Theon’s lying on his stomach, face turned to the side, and trying to remember not to fall asleep. Robb’s going on about finals instead of enjoying the fact that they’re almost done with freshman year. Jon isn’t with them, for once, because he’s off talking to his girlfriend about how to keep their relationship going over the summer.

                Now Robb’s picking at the grass and watching a group of friends throw a Frisbee around the courtyard.

                “You look like a fucking dog. Go ask to play,” Theon mutters.

                “If you play too,” Robb concedes. Theon lifts his head to shake it slightly.

                “You’ve played Frisbee with me a million times, Theon.”

                “Nothing looks stupider than people playing Frisbee,” Theon says before closing his eyes again. He ignores Robb’s sigh of disapproval.

                “Ah, so it just doesn’t matter when I see you looking stupid.”

                “I don’t think you have it in you to think someone looks stupid. You’re too fucking nice,” Theon explains. Robb tears up a handful of grass and tosses it onto him. Theon opens his eyes to glare at him.

                “You look pretty stupid now,” Robb teases. It’s warm and bright and everything smells like grass. He can remember hundreds of days just like this spent with Robb Stark.

                Usually they go swimming at least three times a week in the summer. Even when Theon had graduated and was working to save up money, he made time to go swimming.

                Once, Robb and Jon dragged him along to a quarry. On the drive, Robb assured them that the jump was ‘only’ 50 feet or so and that the water was at least 80 feet deep. Plenty safe.

                When they arrived, Robb immediately pulled his shirt off, ran to the edge of the cliff and jumped. He had already climbed his way back up by the time Jon and Theon reached the jump point.

                Jon stepped to the edge next and looked down to judge the distance before smiling faintly at Robb and jumping. He hit the water hard and came back up with his hair wet enough to make it lie long and straight down to his shoulders.

                Then Theon was hit with the crippling realization that he is afraid of heights. Robb was still watching to make sure Jon hadn’t hurt himself jumping. Everything in Theon started screaming for him to get away from the edge. And then Robb looked over to him, hair already starting to curl again, water still on his eyelashes. And he grinned.

                It never crossed Robb’s mind that Theon would be afraid to jump.

And Theon realized that regardless of how terrifying the jump was, now he _had_ to do it. He hated every single jump, but he made it through the day without backing out.

                Something about the way Robb is looking at him now reminds him of why he jumped off the cliff, but he could never think of how to explain it to him.

                Robb watches him without speaking for a few more moments until he tosses another handful of grass directly into Theon’s hair. Theon huffs and starts to shake it out while Robb looks on in amusement.

                “You know something, Stark?”

                “Some things, yeah.”

                “Never understood how we ended up friends. We don’t really fit together.”

                “It’s not as though I really know what you see in me, either.”

                “Everyone knows what I see in you. If I told any person at this college that I was in love with you _not one person_ would ask me why,” Theon shrugs.

                “You wouldn’t do that, though. Tell anyone. I think you care more than most people. Just really awful at showing it. Kind of like how you laugh when things are really shitty. I just know you well enough to know what it means when you’re laughing. I just know you. Best way to put it.”

                Theon sits up to finish shaking the grass out of his hair. Robb smiles at him and turns back to watching the group playing Frisbee. Theon gathers up his own handful of grass to toss into Robb’s hair before scrambling up to get a head start on Robb, who comes running directly after him.

                Robb has been stronger for years now, but Theon’s always been faster. He takes three laps around the courtyard before he intercepts one of the Frisbee throws. Robb nearly collides into him, surprised by the sudden change in direction. He tosses the Frisbee to one of the players, who tells them to join in.

                Robb turns to look at him and he’s not surprised at all. It’s as though he had always known this was Theon’s plan.

                Theon smiles back at him and thinks of jumping off cliffs in a quarry.  


	31. Paint Samples

                Theon rents an apartment for the summer, because his father still isn’t speaking to him and because even after all his years with the Starks, he’d still feel ashamed if he _had_ to stay with them over break.  Robb repeatedly hints that Theon should pick somewhere closer to home instead of college. Theon had planned to stay far enough away that he’d never run into anyone he knew, but Robb has always been persuasive.

                He spends his weeks working fulltime at a nearby coffee chain. It’s easy work, but it’s mindless and miserable. Robb told him it would make him grow to hate coffee, but it’s been three weeks and he still indulges in the free-coffee-for-employees perk multiple times a day.

                It isn’t a particularly mentally fulfilling job, and he has plenty of time to overthink things while he’s at work. He doesn’t have to think about college until the fall. He doesn’t have to stress about rent because he’s lucked out by finding this fulltime summer position.

                Sometimes he refuses to let himself think too much and spends his afternoon shifts drawing on the chalkboard menus. The customers appreciate it, which means the manager doesn’t care that he does it.

                Other times, he reflects on how entirely unfair it is that his father hates him for not growing into the man he wanted him to be. Perhaps, it was the fact that his father never wanted him around when he was growing up. Or maybe he would have ended up this way, regardless.

                Twice in the first three weeks, he is praised for always looking happy on the job. It’s amusing, because he’s always been good at smiling.

                Sometimes his sister stops in, though she loathes anything other than simple black coffee. She never asks him about his life, but she stops in regularly. It must be her way of showing that she cares, he figures. Though, not enough to actually ask him how he’s doing.

                Robb comes by every single day. He’s always got plans with people from high school or college friends who come visiting. But he’s insistent on seeing Theon every day.

                Once in a while, Jon stops in, though he’s the only one who actually comes for the coffee.

                His apartment has awful insulation. He can hear any noise coming from the street, even with the windows closed. Closing the windows makes the heat skyrocket, so he spends a lot of his time half-naked in his sweltering apartment.

                He hates every minute of living alone. It’s a mixture of boredom, fear, and anxiety from the moment he comes home from his shift until he passes out on the futon.

 He used to like finding time alone, because it gave him time to think and enjoy the quiet. Now, he finds thinking to be a lot like suffocating (And not in a particularly enjoyable way, like it is with Robb when he manages to goad him into playing around in bed).

The flat is always too hot. Too still. And he’s got far too much time to think about being alone. He hasn’t actually gone to see a therapist since they’ve come home, not that he’s brought it up with Robb (Who, as always, is the only one who would care).

Robb hasn’t talked about coming over tonight, but Theon’s glad that he does. He stays fairly often, but he actually has a life outside of Theon. When he stays, Theon never thinks about his family or his future. It’s easy to get caught up in the easy smiles and stupid games they’ve always played.

Robb insists on painting the living room, because even if he’s only keeping it for a few months, it’s Theon’s first apartment. Theon has no interest in painting the living room and tries to make their trip to Home Depot as difficult as he can. Instead of picking a color, he takes one of each demo swatch and mockingly insists that he has to be sure he chooses the right one.

When they get back to the apartment, Robb goes to fetch something to drink. He’s quiet for a long time and Theon eventually heads for the kitchen as well. Robb’s got the fridge open and he’s holding a small bottle of vodka. Theon shrugs at him from the doorway.

“Asha brought it into work. It’s not open,” Theon explains. Truthfully, she had offered it to him when she came in the day before. He could have just not taken it. He probably shouldn’t have. But at least he hadn’t opened it last night after work.

“I’m glad it’s not open,” Robb says, actually looking relieved. Something about making Robb proud sends sparks through him, which is one of those unbidden reactions that makes him feel weak. Weak in a pleasant way, though, which is much different from any other way he feels weak.

“You could take it with you when you go,” Theon continues. Now he’s mostly just fishing for a smile. It works.

“Let’s pick a paint color,” Robb offers, brushing past him and back into the living room. Theon groans and rolls his eyes.

“Or we could take a shower,” Theon suggests. Robb smirks just a bit, but then settles cross-legged next to the coffee table to flip through the overwhelming stack of paint samples.

“We’re pretty bad at actually getting naked. I mean, blowjobs are stellar, but it’d probably be fun to fuck around in the shower.”

“Not until you’re willing to actually talk about how we’re going to do it,” Robb insists. They’ve been back and forth for weeks trying to figure out their sex life. Not long after arriving home, Theon had gone out to obtain condoms and lube, but they still haven’t gotten anywhere near anal. It’s been fine, actually.

“I could blow you in the shower,” Theon offers. He smirks when it makes Robb squirm.

“You always want to pass out after. I’d rather spend time with you first,” Robb explains. Theon scoffs, but the explanation helps push away any residual loneliness. He settles next to Robb on the floor and points to the first color.

“That one.”

“Lavender. You want a lavender living room.”

“I don’t care what color the living room is. We’ve gone over this.”

Robb rolls his eyes, pulls a piece of tape off the roll lying on the floor and stands to tape the paint sample to the wall.

“Definitely lavender,” Theon says. Robb tries to explain that a red would probably look nicer and Theon refuses to consider it until it is also taped to the wall. Then he asks that each and every red paint sample is taped to the wall. Robb laughs, but agrees and continues to tape the samples up.

“No, I’m thinking more of a blue,” Theon says, when every red sample is on the wall. Robb turns to glare at him and Theon laughs before standing and moving to tape the blue ones up by himself.

Within two hours, the entire wall behind the television is covered in paint cards.

“…It actually looks pretty cool,” Robb tells him, standing with a few left over samples in one hand and the tape in his other.

“It looks like a gay pride art piece,” Theon retorts. Robb turns his head to raise an eyebrow at him and Theon shrugs.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who’s going to see it.”

Concern flits briefly over Robb’s face. He’s probably thinking about the vodka again and starting to wonder if Theon’s been telling him the truth.

“Really. It’s cool. I’ll think of you when I see it,” Theon says. He does not mention that he would have thought of Robb no matter what color they chose.

Next, Robb insists on unpacking the few decorative items Theon had up at school. It’s primarily a collection of sea life figurines. There’s a shelf over the television barely big enough to fit them, but it works.

“Gay sea creatures,” Theon says, gesturing to the overall display. Robb sighs and Theon smiles and leans to lightly push him. Robb tries to keep an unamused expression, but Theon lightly pushes him two more times and he breaks into a smile.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a weird theme,” Robb admits.

“It’ll probably look even weirder when we’re trying to watch Star Trek.”

“I thought you wanted to take a shower?”

“We could take a shower. Then I can fall asleep while you watch Star Trek. The best of both worlds.”

“I want you to actually watch Star Trek,” Robb protests.

“I wouldn’t actually watch it either way. I’d try to get my hand in your pants at least three times. And you’d let me. I’d have to turn it off, though. On the off chance that you were getting off on Chris Pine instead of me.”

Robb laughs and crosses the small room to set the handful of paint samples and extra tape on the coffee table.

“You could always blow me in the shower and I’ll return the favor after Stark Trek,” Robb compromises. Theon smirks a bit when he says “blow” and continues smirking as Robb turns a few shades of red. He heads back to the wall, makes a show of comparing the paint swatches with Robb’s face and then points at one of the brighter reds.

Robb crosses the room to press him against the wall.

“Oh, hilarious,” he says, sarcastic and still red as the wall directly behind them.

“Or I guess you could dry hump me against the wall,” Theon teases. Robb presses a bit closer and buries his face into Theon’s neck.

“We’d knock down all the paint swatches,” Robb mutters.

“That’s your only problem with it?” Theon asks, all hope carefully hidden.

“We should take a shower,” Robb says, mouth moving against his neck. Theon’s back arches slightly and he can hear the paint samples crumple. 


	32. Coffee Creamer

                Jon’s not having the best of days. He’s out with Robb, which is fine, but they’ve spent most of the day running errands for Catelyn. Something about this rubs him the wrong way, because she’s never been overly fond of him. Hell, she doesn’t even like it when he calls her his stepmother, so he settles for never directly saying anything to her and for calling her “Robb’s mother” in conversation. Robb’s always been the golden child, so he naturally doesn’t mind running around and fetching things for his mother.

                On top of the errands, he’s been getting increasingly annoying texts in a group message between himself, Pyp, and Grenn. They’re spending the day together and are relentlessly texting him pictures of what they’re doing even though he stopped replying hours ago. Ygritte’s been suspiciously quiet, which terrifies him because Ygritte is _never_ quiet.

                He’s had worse days, but he definitely is not enjoying this particular Tuesday.

                And then it starts raining. Pouring, really. One of those really nasty summer storms that come out of nowhere and leave behind inches of standing water. Almost instantly, he’s soaked enough that his curls flatten against his neck and his clothes start to cling.

                Robb protectively hunches over the letters he’s carrying and frowns at Jon. The storm caught them off guard and they both stopped moving in favor of staring at each other in shock. Then Robb laughs and starts running. Jon chases after him, trying to ignore his phone buzzing in his pocket.

                He’s confused when they come to a stop in front of a small apartment building at the end of the next street.

                “Theon’s place,” Robb explains. And then he’s unlocking the door to let them in.

                Jon had no idea that Robb owned a key to Theon’s apartment. He’s barely accepted the fact that they’re dating, even though it’s been a good six months now. Robb heads through the doorway and down the hallway. He returns with towels while Jon’s still standing just inside the door. And then his brother is raising an eyebrow and offering a towel. Jon takes the towel but still doesn’t move from where he is.

                “You have a key to Greyjoy’s apartment,” Jon says.

                “Yeah,” Robb says, then pauses before continuing, “Oh. No, it wasn’t…I was just with him when he got the keys. And he gave me one. I don’t think it’s…It’s not…”

                Jon deadpans at Robb as he stumbles through the explanation before shaking his head and brushing past Robb and into the living room. He notices the wall covered in a rainbow of paint swatches and turns to look at Robb.

                “It was…a joke. Kind of. We were picking a color and he didn’t want to pick.”

                “You were picking paint colors,” Jon says. Robb frowns in confusion.

                “It’s weird. It doesn’t feel like it sounds. We’re not living together or anything,” Robb explains. Jon shakes his head and starts to towel himself off.

                Robb heads off to jump into the shower, explaining that Theon shouldn’t be home for a few hours. Jon wanders for a few minutes around the small apartment. He spots three of Robb’s movies on the shelf with Theon’s movies. And when he opens the fridge for a drink, he spots Hazelnut creamer. Theon has always been very loud about how much he hates flavored coffees.

Jon stands in the living room for a few minutes because he’s unwilling to get the couch wet. Then he decides he doesn’t care if he gets the couch wet, because it’s Theon’s. He’s just settled onto the couch when the third member of the trio comes through the front door. He must see Robb’s coat hanging up, because he sounds happy when he starts talking. And Theon never _really_ sounds happy unless he thinks he’s alone with Robb.

                “Hey, didn’t know you were coming over. Thought you were hanging out with your shithead brother,” Theon calls from the hallway. When he comes around the corner he sees Jon and stops dead in his tracks.

                “Greyjoy,” Jon says, because he isn’t sure what else he _could_ say.

                “What the fuck are you doing here?”

                “It started raining. Robb’s in the shower.”

                Theon stares blankly at him for a moment before glancing to the rainbow wall.

                “I love the décor,” Jon says. He resists the urge to smile when Theon glares at him.

                “Your brother did it,” Theon tells him.

                “Hm. You gave him a key to your apartment,” Jon smiles. But the way he says it completely conveys a taunting ‘ _You’re in love with him. This is commitment.’._

                Theon watches him carefully and shifts his weight from foot to foot before shrugging.

                “You’ve got his coffee creamer in your fridge.”

                “I didn’t know you were so obsessed with your brother. He bought that himself.”

                “Things are getting serious between you,” Jon continues without reacting to the taunt, because it’s always great to have an advantage over Theon.

                “Things got serious between us when he started blowing me,” Theon counters. _Fear_ flashes through Jon’s eyes, and it’s the most satisfying thing Theon has seen in ages. Jon goes dead quiet and Theon heads down the hallway and into the bathroom to berate Robb for letting Jon into his apartment. Jon desperately tries to ignore the fact that Robb is showering and Theon is _also_ in the bathroom.

                Theon comes back into the living room after a few minutes and makes a point of ignoring Jon completely. Jon does the same. They sit in silence while Theon flips through channels on the television. Robb eventually emerges from the shower wearing a shirt that Jon recognizes as Theon’s. He briefly wonders how it even fits Robb, who’s much broader than Theon.

                He glances to Theon, wondering if this is normal for them now, and instantly regrets it when he realizes just how hard Theon is staring at Robb. It’s disturbing to see such intense focus coming out of Theon and he wishes deeply to unsee it.

                Robb heads into the kitchen, still toweling his hair dry. Theon finally glances over at Jon, who’s still watching him. Jon swears that if Theon was a normal person, he’d be blushing. Instead he just looks completely pissed at Jon for catching him looking.

                “Hey! You picked up creamer,” Robb calls from the kitchen.

                Jon nearly chokes trying not to laugh at Theon’s appalled expression. Robb leans into the room, creamer in hand, and checks on them. Theon is staring moodily at the wall and Jon has a fist pressed against his mouth to keep from laughing. Robb shakes his head and ducks back into the kitchen and Theon continues ignoring Jon.

                “Funny. You were dating before you were dating. And now you’ve moved in together without trying,” Jon says. He thinks Theon is ignoring him, but then a pillow from the couch gets whipped across the room and hits him in the head. Robb comes running in to break up the fight before it starts and Theon won’t even look at him.

                There’s something immensely satisfying in watching Theon struggle with being called out on his softness for Robb. As much as Jon loathes Theon, he’s learning to tolerate Robb’s relationship. Theon may be the most annoying and self-pitying person Jon knows, but he’ll do _anything_ for Robb. And, as it turns out, it’s thrilling to call him out on it.

                Robb manages to calm them down before sending Jon off in the direction of the shower. Theon starts to argue, but goes quiet when Robb whispers something to him.

                “Am I going to find two toothbrushes?” Jon asks, unable to resist one last taunt.

                It’s half-sick and half-sweet when Theon and Robb glance at each other in shocked revelation that they _are_ living together. 


End file.
